Loz (lozenger8) wrote,
Loz
lozenger8

It may be quite simple but now that it's done...

I got to have the "let's just be friends" conversation with Lovely Teacher last week. I didn't want to. Didn't make any kind of move. But, as I mentioned before, I tend to be pathetically obvious in my devotion, when I am devoted --- and whilst he apparently didn't notice, our work colleagues did. Because not much happens on the Lands, and because everyone loves getting into everybody else's business, they decided to tell him. At which point he decided he needed to 'clear the air'.

He was sweet about it. Awkward. He took me to see The Incredible Hulk (I tried not to find it ironic) and then got us tea for our 'discussion'. He wants to be friends. Fine by me. I felt it would be cruel for me to say something along the lines of, "I really only react to you this way because you're the only accessible male in my age group within hundreds of miles." But the fact my single defining emotive reaction has been embarrassment leads me to believe that's exactly what my 'feelings' for him were. I don't, actually, care about being rejected by him very much at all.

However, because I am human, it still made me feel rejected and dejected and just a little bit like I might be totally useless in general. Well, why don't you want ten thousand babies with me? Am I really that bad?

Obviously, I didn't ask those questions, and I never will. What I'll do is soldier on with a smile on my face. I always have.
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  • Too cool for school...

    I'm back at school! Things aren't the smoothest they could be. We've had a major technological meltdown which is causing several of my colleagues…

  • A life update...

    Under the cut I recount something that happened today. Something that I think shows who I've been, how I'm growing, and how things currently stand.…

  • Teeeeeaching...

    Part of today was me getting to accidentally listen to a couple of my students point out how cool I am because I get their references (to be fair to…