Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Word Count: 1,500 words.
Notes: Nicholas/Danny, for glitterfairy25.
Ever since Sandford residents had cleaned up their act in regards to murdering innocent people and dumping the bodies underground, the town had looked less than pristine. Mars bar wrappers adorned the gutters, there were plastic beer-can holders floating in the wishing fountain, and used condoms enmeshed with autumn leaves --- none of them used by Nicholas. Which was not his first thought, by any means. It was at least sixth on the list.
What Nicholas failed to do when he put an end to the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance 'Happy Fun Time Killing Spree' (and wasn't he more than a little disturbed when he found the documentation designating it as such) was put in place appropriate committees that could oversee all of those little jobs the NWA did as well as bludgeon, set fire to, and maim.
Something had to be done, but Nicholas didn't know what, and he sighed as he walked the beat with Danny, tutting at a crisp packet lying half-full on the grass.
"I know!" Danny said, following Nicholas' line of sight. "As if you'd leave half a smoky bacon, what a waste."
Nicholas didn't want to smile, but found his lips twitching into a curve. "I'm annoyed about the litter, Danny."
"I know that," Danny said with a cheerful roll of his eyes. "I was thinking maybe we could have a fair."
"After the last great success? Whose head could we stove in this time?"
"A cleaning up fair. A 'keep Sandford green' fair. Maybe we could give out tokens or something and if you got a certain amount of tokens, you'd get a prize. And one of the side-effects of winning a prize would be to be placed onto the new 'Sparkling Sandford' group. A group for keeping our swans plastic-free."
Nicholas considered this. Every day he discovered new reasons for being glad he had found a partner. He almost wanted to reach over and plant an affectionate kiss on Danny's cheek. "That's a really good plan, Danny."
"I'm not just here for my adorable dimples."
"You have dimples? I hadn't noticed."
"You haven't had a chance to see them yet. You wait until the annual Sandford Godiva day. We took it over when Coventry decided it was a health hazard."
Fantastic. Just when Nicholas thought he had learned everything there was to learn about his adopted home, more horrors crawled out from the woodwork.
And yet, he wasn't exactly horrified by this.
Theodore Rex was the strangest film Nicholas had ever seen. It was also, undoubtedly, the worst. Instead of actively watching the film, Nicholas was thinking about climbing onto Danny's lap and kissing him wildly. He wasn't sure where the thought had sprung from, but it was by no means unwelcome, especially since it came with technicolor visuals and dolby sound. Unfortunately, the corporeal Danny seemed intent on ruining the fantasy.
"This is us," Danny said enthusiastically, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
"This is us, this is us exactly. I kept hoping we'd see a buddy cop film that was like a real mirror of our lives, and this is it. I should've remembered. Best video I ever bought."
"... which one of us is the dinosaur?"
"Me, of course."
"So I'm Whoopi Goldberg."
"Definitely. See how miserable she looks?"
Nicholas frowned. "I'm not miserable."
"Maybe not now, but you were."
"Danny, you're not a civilian. And you're not a dinosaur. Last I checked you weren't even green."
Danny raised his eyebrows. "It takes some imagination, Nick. It's an escapist fantasy. I'm not claiming it's real 'n' shit. I'm saying these personalities are the same as ours."
"I fail to see how you could equate yourself with a great, lumbering reptile. You're you. You're not some crapload of really unspecial effects that look like they were made with styrofoam and glitter. Also, I never have, and I never will, wear that much pleather."
Danny's mouth closed and he tensed his jaw. "Fine. If that's how you feel." He stood up.
"Danny!" Nicholas tried to reach up, but Danny walked out of the room. The front door slammed a moment later. Nicholas sighed and stared at the screen. He should have done what he'd been thinking about, then the conversation would never have occurred.
Nicholas bought cake. He bought a specially customised cake in the form of one of Danny's favourite aspects of one of Danny's favourite shows. A Ford Cortina shaped cake with orange flavoured icing and a special button you could press so that a tinny, metallic voice that sounded only marginally like Gene Hunt yelled, "get stuck into it, you slags," from within its spongey depths.
It was worth it for Danny's expression alone.
"I'm sorry," Nicholas said, stilted and awkward, but Danny threw his arms around him.
"I understand. Sometimes we're just different. That's what makes us so great!"
Nicholas couldn't help but grin. "Yes, exactly. Our differences make us stronger, we learn to compromise. We truly work together."
In that moment, Nicholas wanted nothing more than to lick away the icing on Danny's lower lip and was tilting his head in preparation.
"Get stuck into it, you slags."
And the moment was gone.
"Fuckin' A!" Danny yelled, rushing through the undergrowth, Nicholas in hot pursuit. Nicholas rattled his gun. He only had five pellets left if that sound was to be believed. That wasn't enough for them to get out of this. Shit.
"Danny, we need to find somewhere to hide."
"I can see a shelter up ahead."
"Brilliant, you're a legend."
They were almost there, so very close. Nicholas took the lead, sprinting, beads of sweat running down his face. His feet pounded the earth and he knew it wouldn't take much longer before he was laughing. That was when he heard the sound like a twig snapping and whirled around to see Danny crashing to the ground.
"Danny!" he yelled, desperation making his voice coarse. He went to run forward, but Danny raised a hand.
"Save yourself, Nicholas, we're counting on you."
Nicholas was torn, but his heart won over his head and he crawled close to Danny's prostrate body, turning him over. Danny stared up at him, eyes wide and confused.
"I'm not leaving you," Nicholas said. He brushed his fingers through Danny's hair, pushing it off his forehead. "I could never leave you like this." He choked back his fear and managed a wan smile. Fleeting thoughts of pressing his lips to Danny's forehead flickered through his mind. If this was the last time ---
"A little yellow paint never killed no one, Nick," Danny said, sitting upright. "Wow, you really get into this stuff, don't you?"
Nicholas blinked, bringing himself back to reality. "Yes. Yes, I do."
"You've still not been shot. Better get your paintball gun and go for it."
"Thanks, mate. See you at the gazebo for the light refreshments."
Nicholas wasn't very good at expressing his feelings. Not with words. Not with gestures. Not at all. He always got nervous, and in his nervousness clammed up, stood completely still, and mostly tried to blend into the background scenery. But he couldn't help but think that Danny deserved to know the truth about his best friend and he just couldn't stand living a lie anymore, so he invited Danny over and tried his best to not be useless.
"Nick, have you been alright lately?" Danny asked, kind concern and worried frown.
"Danny, I love you."
"Yeah, I know, but have you been alright?"
Nicholas floundered. "No, Danny, you don't understand, I'm in love with you."
Danny stopped frowning. In fact, his face became devoid of any form of expression and was instead remarkably blank. Until, finally, he spoke. "Like proper love? Red roses and kittens love? You daydream about taking me on weekends to Brighton and buying me chocolates?"
"Well, not quite, but yeah."
"So when you stare at my mouth, it's not because I've missed something? I've been worrying for weeks over that. I thought I must be the world's messiest eater. Not that I really care, but, you know, for appearance's sake, now that I'm a Sergeant..."
Danny placed a hand on Nicholas' shoulder. "Why didn't you say something before?"
"What was I supposed to say? 'Danny, you did a good job today, oh, and by the way, I think you're a sexy fucker and I want to get into your pants.' It's not --- I'm your superior officer, for one. You're my best friend for another."
"So why are you telling me now?"
Nicholas clenched and unclenched his fists, lowering his gaze to the floor. "I don't know."
"Nick, I think there's something you should know."
Nicholas looked up, not allowing himself to be hopeful at Danny's tone of voice; all soft and smooth and fond. "I'm listening."
"I'm kinda in love with you too. Proper love and everything. Peace lilies and swans. Daydreaming about having you over the couch and fucking your brains out. Thinking about just pulling you close and snogging your head off. You know, as you do."
Nicholas couldn't contain his glee. He wrapped his arms around Danny's back and tilted his head, making sure nothing could go wrong for this; their first kiss.
Danny tilted the same way and they headbutted each other, but after the kerfuffle, actual kissing action occurred and Nicholas pushed into it, smiling. Danny looked at Nicholas through lowered eyelashes when they finally stopped.
"Hey, you'll get to see my dimples sooner than you thought."