I don't know why I do these things. I like to challenge myself, I guess. The only reason I ever started writing sex scenes was to challenge myself. (I continued, because, you know what, once you get over the initial embarrassment, it's actually really fun!) The only reason I ever write murder mysteries is to challenge myself. But, when it comes down to it, I often don't actually enjoy the challenge. I get some kind of kick out of it - otherwise, why continue? But it's not usually a lovely experience.
It is, normally, a rewarding experience. One from which I learn a lot. One that affects me emotionally in good and bad ways.
I think I'm going to go crawl into a ball and cry now.