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Living Loz
Boys and their Toys 
15th-Mar-2008 07:56 pm
Loz Refined
Title: Boys and their Toys
Fandom: Life on Mars
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1550 words.
Notes: Sam/Gene slash. For hambelandjemima. References Torchwood and Kingdom in slightly obscure ways.
Summary: Rathbone wants CID to take a firearms refresher course. Sam and Gene decide to make it interesting.



"I'm not as petty as you," Sam says, bracing himself against the wall of Lost and Found and widening his arms and legs.

"Still don't put it past you," Gene replies, skating his hands over Sam's calves, thighs and sides. He pats Sam's clothes down. "No concealed weapons?"

"Not a one."

"Because if I find out you've been packing on the sly, Tyler, I will beat you black and blue."

Sam laughs. "You might give it a red hot go, but do you know something, Gene? I've got fists of my own."

Gene removes his hand from Sam's inner thigh and unceremoniously yanks him from the wall, grunting. "My fists are larger than yours. All the better to punch you with."

"I knew you were a competitive sort, but this is ridiculous."

"Bet's a bet. I play to win."

Sam rolls his eyes. "Alright. I promise I have no Uzis stored about my person."

Gene lowers his head and the crease in his forehead deepens. "I can see that. Felt it too. But I still don't trust that you're gonna go by the rules."

Sam smiles, slow and relaxed. "Now I know you're lying. You trust me, like I trust you."

"You don't want a reciprocal frisk?" Gene asks, extending his arms out and placing his feet wide apart.

"Can't see any suspect bulges." Sam's smile turns into a smirk. "Depending on the outcome, that may change in time."

Gene simply sets his shoulders, adjusting his driving gloves and staring.

*

Sam ordinarily doesn't care for guns. They wreak havoc in an orderly world. A bullet doesn't slide through flesh, it twists and rends the flesh apart.

But he's grown up with enough films and television shows telling him guns are cool that he still secretly thinks so, deep down inside. There's nothing quite like the weight of a gun in hand - the cool, impersonal, solid power. He's not naive enough to dismiss claims that there may be something sexual in it - a gun's a metal replica of a penis.

He has great eyesight and good aim. Quicker reflexes, fantastic judgement. Sam has always excelled at firearms training. He's going to win. The bet's there just for a bit of fun, because he knows Gene will never go through with it - specifically chose something Gene would never go through with, just to witness Gene's reaction.

Gene had stayed stationary and impassive, and Sam had thought for a fleeting second that he had been more than a little obvious the past few months and Gene had come to realise exactly why he did his utmost best to piss Gene off most of the day and night. Then Gene had given Sam his own winning conditions and he realised they were both just trying to shock each other.

Sam ordinarily doesn't care for guns. But then, he ordinarily doesn't care for bullish, boorish bastards with superiority complexes and Ford Cortinas.

*

Sam waits for everyone to get their act together so that they can make it to the firing range on time.

Gene claps his hands together. "Now, Cartwright, I don't want you worrying about breaking a nail or some such. You can sit out and leave it to the big boys."

Sam is impressed that Annie doesn't glare. She smiles, sweetly. "With respect, Sir, I think I'll come and have a really good laugh whilst the 'big boys' forget to take the safety off or wreck their shoulder with the recoil." She points to Chris and Ray, who are facing off with each other, imitating a Western showdown using lucozade bottles as firearms.

Gene looks at them, his carefully cultivated mask of weariness at their stupidity giving way to a small smile that Sam thinks could almost be affection.

Finally, everyone who needs to go is ready, a tremor of excitement running through the air.

Ray starts to sing as they file out of CID towards the Cortina and van, "Bang bang, he shot me down, Bang bang, I hit the ground, Bang bang, that awful sound, Bang bang, my baby shot me down."

*
It starts off slowly. There's a lecture that no one listens to. A list of rules no one will follow. And a lot of parroting, face making and mock-yawning that triggers multiple real yawns. Sam is ashamed to admit to himself that he doesn't blame the response, after all, this is supposed to be a refresher course, not the main meal. He'd assumed that it was perfectly acceptable in 1973 to hand over a gun, set up some targets and let everyone do what they wanted. But apparently not. Apparently there are measures that need to be taken, and things that need to be checked, and Sam listens, but feels resentful.

The resentment goes away once he's given the first handgun, a Beretta M951R. He smoothes his fingers over the barrel and checks that the safety's on. The gun is polished, sleek and economical. Sam can't help but admire its precise lines and wooden grip. He looks up to see that Gene is watching him, his own gun already in his holster.

"Game on," Sam mouths, and is delighted by Gene's response, which consists of imitating blowing away the smoke from a spent barrel.

Sam's first shot goes straight through the heart of the target. Gene's goes straight through the head. Chris misses the target completely, Annie gets the abdomen, and Ray manages a shoulder-shot. Sam's next shot goes through the heart again, but Gene's misses the mark. Annie's shot would be fatal if it were in anything more alive than a paper target and she does a little dance that causes Lytts and Marlowe to widen their eyes. Chris actually gets a shot to the head, but admits he was aiming for the guts, and Ray practically blows a hand off. Other members of CID have to wait their turn.

The sound ricochets around the room, despite the protective ear-coverings. The smoke is acrid in the air. Sam bounces on the balls of his feet.

By the middle of the session he is well and truly in the lead. He has shot the most targets accurately in the shortest amount of time. Annie is next in the rankings and is the recipient of more than a few angry glares, although Chris pats her on the back and says something about her being 'dead sexy when concentrating.'

Last on the list is Gene. Sam can't quite fathom it. He's seen Gene with a gun before, he's not entirely useless, and yet, no one would think he was a remotely skilled marksman with this performance. He's always just left or right of where he should be. Sam wonders if he needs glasses.

"See? I didn't need specialised weaponry," Sam gloats, nudging into Gene's shoulder. "I have all I need right here." He taps his head and quirks an eyebrow, inciting Gene to violence. Gene doesn't react.

They move onto the Remington 870 by the end of the practice and Sam finds that his earlier suspicions about the shoddiness of operations were justified, as these particular guns are not supposed to be used on targets due to over penetration. However, he can't deny that it's a hell of a lot of fun seeing the holes in the wall.

*

They have their celebratory dinner at the local competitor to Wimpy's that's just opened shop around the corner from the station. Burger Off is only too happy to offer discounts to coppers, intent to get a good customer base. They're very accommodating - even when Ray and Chris decide they're going to 'put on a show' and start singing "Killing Me Softly With His Song" in strained falsetto. Sam is relatively sure they are killing him with their song, but not at all softly.

"I can't believe DI Tyler's a crack shot," Ray complains later, shaking his head.

"There are all kinds of things I'm good at you don't know about Raymondo," Sam responds. He cracks his knuckles and rocks back in his chair. "Just wait 'til you see me in action."

"He'll never get to," Annie cuts in. "If we're lucky."

"Maybe so, but least we know we could count on you to defend us if the need arises, Cartwright," Gene says and Annie beams brightly, before turning her attention back to Chris, who's trying to do a mime of being one of the targets.

"I wanna see you later at my flat to make good on my winnings," Sam says quietly, grinning sadistically in Gene's direction.

Gene gives as good as he gets and wraps his lips seductively around a chip. Sam watches intently as he bites down, smiles, and says, "I'll be there."

*

It's the anticipation that does it, has him standing stock still, desperate for movement. He watches the flicker of Gene's eyes, the slow, languid ease with which Gene leans there and brings his flask to his lips.

"I'm here, like you asked."

"Yes, you are."

Gene raises his eyebrows, stares at him, and Sam cannot think of anything else to say, because words are completely meaningless. He watches Gene's tongue as it glides along his lower lip, his own mouth treacherously dry. He clenches his fists by his sides and refrains from launching himself at the trunk of Gene's body, tearing off every item of his polyester casing, and tasting each square inch. But only just.

Continued: Problems Should Be Shared [NC-17]

Comments 
15th-Mar-2008 10:43 am (UTC)
"Can't see any suspect bulges." Sam's smile turns into a smirk. "Depending on the outcome, that may change in time."

:D I do like a nice bit of innuendo.

I also liked that for all of Sam's modern day PCness he can still admit that deep down he thinks guns are sexy. We can't always be sensible and correct.

And I liked the lucozade showdown, 'cos those two are just big kids, most men are:)

And Annie gets to be all wicked cool and better than the boys!

And, yes, this was a very nice slide into 'problems should be shared', which I managed to miss the first time round I think. Mmmmm, very nice:)
15th-Mar-2008 10:47 am (UTC)
Thank you very much! :D

Ray and Chris are just big kids. I kind of adore them.
15th-Mar-2008 11:52 am (UTC)
lol annie. ♥

THIS IS BRILLIANT LOZ. BRILLIANT.
15th-Mar-2008 01:22 pm (UTC)
:D Thank you!

Annie is such a star. One of my very favourite lines of the series is Annie threatening Gene.
15th-Mar-2008 01:15 pm (UTC)
I really really love you, Loz! ♥

I'm sure there are others out there with bigger gunplay kinks than mine, but they'll be few and far between. FRISKING YAY!! And Gene, deliberately losing and Sam's too much of an idiot to see it, cos he's all wrapped up in his own success. And this - oh, especially this:

"Game on," Sam mouths, and is delighted by Gene's response, which consists of imitating blowing away the smoke from a spent barrel.

What a totally in-character, deliciously visible, shiver-inducing image that is.
15th-Mar-2008 01:24 pm (UTC)
Sam is so very oblivious.

♥ I'm really glad you liked this.
15th-Mar-2008 01:55 pm (UTC)
Ah, Gene's aim is true and he plays to win his very own prize!
You really got me with this - didn't spot it was the prequel until the very end - which makes you just as sneaky and fabulous as the Guv!
15th-Mar-2008 01:58 pm (UTC)
Bwaaaahahaha.

I'd usually not write prequels, but Hambel's request meshed so well with the intended lead up to PSBS that I couldn't help it.

Thank you!
15th-Mar-2008 01:55 pm (UTC)
*Dances around* Thank you so much. I love this ♥ *hugs the fic while dancing*

The frisking and the threatening and the trusting and the innuendos and the singing and the face making and Annie's little dance - all awesome :)

But he's grown up with enough films and television shows telling him guns are cool that he still secretly thinks so, deep down inside.
And yes, that is so right!!!

And, of course, it gives us all a good excuse to re-read Problems Should Be Shared which can only be a good thing :D

Thank you x
15th-Mar-2008 02:00 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you like this! ♥

It was a really great prompt and it converged rather brilliantly with what I'd always envisaged as the lead up to PSBS.

Thank you!
15th-Mar-2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
I know that it makes me a sorry little excuse for a slasher chick and all (not my native plumage), but I love this story even more than Problems Should Be Shared. Yes, that story is teh hotness and reading this story first just increases teh hotness, but this story, this story is just wonderful.

I guess what I'm trying to say is my biggest kink is characterization and here it is. Sam's thoughts about guns and picking something he was sure Gene would never go through with and Gene deliberately missing the target and Ray & Chris playing and Annie being a great shot... so much ♥

I also really like that you don't feel the need to fill everything in for us -- I like imagining what Gene's "winning conditions" might have been.

Thank you for this!
15th-Mar-2008 07:49 pm (UTC)
I know that it makes me a sorry little excuse for a slasher chick and all (not my native plumage), but I love this story even more than Problems Should Be Shared. Yes, that story is teh hotness and reading this story first just increases teh hotness, but this story, this story is just wonderful.

Well, they're different beasts, really. I always prefer reading non-PWP to PWP, although I've come to discover I kind of love writing the latter because it is an incredible challenge that, usually, doesn't have me clawing at the walls like other forms of narrative do (no, it has Sam clawing at the walls instead.) It's also a way I can say something else about the characters - something I couldn't easily say in this type of fiction.

Thank you :D
15th-Mar-2008 07:32 pm (UTC)
You wrote the prequel! Thank you :) When Gene is quiet *with intent* you can almost feel the electricity in the air, and Sam was so caught up with enjoying the 'game' that I wasn't sure if he realised that Gene actually intended to go through with it. I also wonder what he wanted from Sam as a forfeit, it seemed much along the same lines?

The image of Gene looking at Sam and using the chip as a gesture of intent is burned into my brain, the picture just won't go away. Not that I want it to :)
15th-Mar-2008 07:51 pm (UTC)
Indeed, I bowed down to the pressure and wrote a prequel :D

Sam had no idea Gene was fully intending to go through with it. He's not the brightest lad with the Beretta.

Thank you!
15th-Mar-2008 08:46 pm (UTC)
So much of this is so in character that it hurts.

I absolutely adored the Lucozade bit...more than I should've as I was drinking some at the time and couldn't resist firing off a few shots myself (I'll leave that particular innuendo to settle...)
15th-Mar-2008 08:47 pm (UTC)


WIN! :D

Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
16th-Mar-2008 01:58 am (UTC)
Thank you! :D
16th-Mar-2008 12:25 am (UTC)
Yes! Loved it.

The whole fic has an air of tension and anticipation and when you showed that it was a prequel I cheered and then spoilt myself by rereading the next fic.

I also really liked the little look at the others in the team. Annie being determined and competent and Ray and Chris being, well, Ray and Chris.

: )
16th-Mar-2008 01:58 am (UTC)
Bwahahaha.

I like ensemble fic. It's really hard to write, but, especially in S2, LoM was an ensemble show.

Thank you!
16th-Mar-2008 12:40 am (UTC)
NNGH LOZ, I am kind of in love with this. I love the dynamic of Sam and Gene in competition so so much, and the way that Sam feels like one of the gang--in fact, the fact that they are all a gang, on an exciting school police trip! Also, Ray singing. :D

He has great eyesight and good aim. Quicker reflexes, fantastic judgement. Sam has always excelled at firearms training.
BECAUSE HE IS NICHOLAS ANGEL. wait what

In other news: I kept thinking I was seeing references to other stuff all the way through this. Was I? Or has pop culture just got the better of me? Torchwood? Kingdom? Do you even watch either of these? I THINK I NEED TO GO TO BED.
16th-Mar-2008 01:55 am (UTC)
OMG YOU WATCH KINGDOM?

I have been watching that all month and was hoping I could pass that pun off without having to say 'not mine, just something that amuses me'. FOILED BY MADDIE. HAHAHAHA! However, a Torchwood reference would have been accidental if there was one - I do watch it, but I'm one of those ironic viewers.

Thank you!
16th-Mar-2008 04:07 am (UTC)
Oh. OH!

Now I remember. Owen's speech about bullets tearing through muscle!

Why yes, that apparently is a Torchwood reference.
17th-Mar-2008 12:34 am (UTC)
OMG LOL SOMEONE ELSE WHO WATCHES KINGDOM. \o/ I sort of love it in all its bumbling Sunday-night almost-dramatic glory. Stephen Fry! Tony Slattery! Whoever it is that plays Lyle! ♥ I've never seen anyone else mention it on lj! Seriously, I got to the Burger Off bit in your fic and was like "...no, maybe she just somehow came up with exactly the same pun?"

(I always feel a bit bad about how the poignancy and emergency of the final scenes of the series two finale were slightly less serious for me because I found Stephen Fry's urgent-yet-slow run through the water stupidly hilarious. Oh god, Kingdom, why do you make me laugh at the worst ever moments?)

Also, random question! Do you remember the series one finale? Can you tell me what happened in it?! I missed it at the time, and somehow never found a repeat or anything. The beginning of this series was all a bit WAIT UNEXPECTED BABY WHAT for me.

Plus Torchwood! Thank goodness I wasn't seeing things. Again, I was sat there genuinely wondering if, through an amazing chance, you'd just happened to describe being shot in a reeeally similar way to Owen...
17th-Mar-2008 06:33 am (UTC)
The guy who plays Lyle is Karl Davies. I think he's adorable.

And shhh, I haven't seen the S2 finale yet. I've only seen the first two episodes.

In the S1 finale, this woman turns up with her baby and says that it's Simon's and that it was conceived 6 months before (Simon was meant to have been missing 9 months.) Other stuff happens, but not much.

This is how the Torchwood quote happened: when I am watching things, I always have paper under my keyboard, so I can jot down anything I find interesting. I also use it to jot down original thoughts. Usually I can remember which is which and where from, but sometimes I can't, so I end up referencing unintentionally as well as intentionally. It's a bit of a pain, actually. I should probably stop doing it.

Currently on that piece of paper we have the words "for the longest time" (a song by Billy Joel), "tmesis", "aphasia", "betrayal", "burger off", and how much I had to transfer to pay off my credit card ($230.55.)
16th-Mar-2008 01:04 am (UTC)
I had not a single idea that this was a prequel until the very end when I saw the link. You sneaky girl, you!

I loved everything about this from the frisking at the beginning that made me go and put my copy of State of Play in the DVD player, to your description of The Gang that Couldn't Shoot Straight. I just know Gene missed on purpose. And it goes without saying that I live for your Sam/Gene banter.

They move onto the Remington 870 by the end of the practice and Sam finds that his earlier suspicions about the shoddiness of operations were justified, as these particular guns are not supposed to be used on targets due to over penetration. However, he can't deny that it's a hell of a lot of fun seeing the holes in the wall.

But I mostly love how you show that Sam may be all about proper procedures and PC but he sometimes let's the little boy shine through.
16th-Mar-2008 01:57 am (UTC)
:D

Yeah, I think we focus on serious Sam a lot, without really referencing the Sam who got excited and clutched at Gene's shoulder when he saw Marc Bolan. Or the Sam who really does enjoy chasing down streets, despite holding onto the handle. The Sam who laughed at Ray and Chris after all in 2.02 when they were picking up Dickie Fingers.

Thank you!
17th-Mar-2008 03:23 pm (UTC)
Absolutely loved your mention of the fact that even though he hates them on the surface, part of Sam loves guns - and the fact that he still gets that little "cool" niggle when looking at them. It definitely fits in with both his character and the modern take on guns that he would have lived with.

Loved the description of the lecture - fake yawns setting off real yawns, etc, and the fact that Sam and Annie led the bunch, even above Gene. Classic!


Sam ordinarily doesn't care for guns. But then, he ordinarily doesn't care for bullish, boorish bastards with superiority complexes and Ford Cortinas.


And that line was just wonderful - both the humor, the sexual tension, and the tiny bit of mischievous conceit that were so apparent around Sam in this piece were very well summed up in that line.

Great fic!
23rd-Mar-2008 01:19 am (UTC)
Thank you. ♥
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