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Living Loz
My Life on Mars Fanfiction Index 
26th-Aug-2007 12:40 pm
Life on Mars (Sam smirks)
Separated into Gen, Slash, Het & Other (click the category you wish to skip to.) Includes word counts and summaries.




* Gen *



They Love Each Other Really
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Summary: A game of scrabble in 100 words.

The Things We Tell Ourselves
Rating: G
Word Count: 270
Summary: Gene lied when he was twenty-one, thirty-one and forty-one.

In Diving Deeper Down [Poetry]
Rating: G
Word Count: 125
Summary: Sam's gone from Manchester a while, to the sea. This is a villanelle.

The Love Between Men
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 445
Summary: Not exactly slash. “Look, not everything has to be tainted by sex. It’s perfectly possible for two men to enjoy spending time together without it relating to in, out, in, out, shake it all about.”

The Man Who Sold the World
Rating: G
Word Count: 300
Summary: He should have anticipated the loneliness. He didn’t.

Don't Show Me This Tip Again
Rating: G
Word Count: 379
Summary: Gene in the future. Because it is so much fun. Sam minimised word and opened up the recycle bin. He also opened up 'My Documents'. He set the screen to have them both showing at once, with the recycle bin staying on top at all times.

But the Winking of an Eye
Rating: G
Word Count: 355
Summary: It's Sam's birthday. Title is from Yeats' "To Ireland in the Coming Times".

Shadows Play
Rating: G
Word Count: 491
Summary: An alternative take on what might have happened in Series 2, Episode 1. “I’ve seen your dark side, Tyler,” Gene said in a low voice, raising his cigarette to his lips.

So It Turns Out
Rating: G
Word Count: 410
Summary: Set immediately after Series 2, Episode 2. "I expected you to be angrier," Sam says, glass heavy in his hand. He frowns, the crease in his forehead deepening. "I wanted you to be angrier."

It’s Gonna Be A Long, Long Time
Rating: G
Word Count: 400
Summary: Set during Series 2, Episode 6.

Saying. Staying.
Rating: G
Word Count: 200
Summary: Set during Series 2, Episode 7.

It's Never Over
Rating: G
Word Count: 150
Summary: Set directly after Series 2, Episode 8.

Actual Reality
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 390
Summary: Dark. The body's there, by the bin. And something’s got to be done.

Waste Not, Want Not
Rating: PG
Word Count: 360
Summary: Dark. They don’t suspect him, never would, he wouldn’t even suspect himself and he knows.

His Life in Fiction
Rating: G
Word Count: 450
Summary: Spoilers for Series 2, Episode 8. Written in the style of the narrator for Pushing Daisies.

Strings That Bind
Rating: G
Word Count: 730
Summary: This is my first ever Life on Mars fic. This is where it all started. Gene, before our Sam drops in on him (assuming he’s not just a figment of our Sam’s deranged mind.)

Learn Something New Everyday
Rating: G
Word Count: 550
Summary: Set between episodes 2 and 3 of the first series - Sam attempts to slot Gene into a construct of acceptable policing behaviour, as two clearly insane men wreak havoc in Manchester banks.

For My Automolove...
Rating: G
Word Count: 2111
Summary: Sam gets a new car and Gene is less than impressed.

Measure for Measure
Rating: PG
Word Count: 785
Summary: Sam's growing ever so slightly more corrupt under Gene's reign.
“That’s blackmail.”
"Yes, Gene. Your point?”


Three Films He Never Saw (All the Way Through)
Rating: G
Word Count: 1100
Summary: Sam was determined. He was not going to be shown as a social disaster. Just because he wasn’t ‘up’ (or was it ‘down’?) with everything his colleagues knew, referenced or liked, didn’t mean he was completely inadequate.

Thinking in Reverse
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1600
Summary: A fic in reverse. 1974. A new year. A new year and he still wasn’t back home. Was he stuck here forever? It felt like it.

Mr Blue Sky
Rating: G
Word Count: 500
Summary: And he had that damn song stuck in his head. The one which hadn’t been released yet. The one with the electronica and the harmonisation and the snappy jaunty rhythm. He hated that song.

Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1200
Summary: Chris works on cases too! Some days, Chris is sure he’s coming down with a dose of the crazies. He keeps coming up with theories about where Sam goes when he’s not at the station, and these theories usually include dark alleyways.

Back When...
Rating: G
Word Count: 685
Summary: Back when he used to care about these things, used to think about these things, he told himself he knew where to draw the line.

No Burden is He to Bear
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1333
Summary: Gene turns up at Sam’s late at night and there’s some degree of grope-like handling, but it’s not actually slash. There was a knock on his door. No, it wasn’t really a knock. It was more like a thump.

Nine Things Gene Hunt Did Which Pissed Sam Off and One Way Sam Returned the Favour
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1230
Summary: The title says it all.

The Death of Each Day's Life
Rating: G
Word Count: 1500
Summary: Sam never sleeps. Not really. He pretends to. He crawls onto the cot, positions himself into a resting arrangement. He doesn’t close his eyes.

Lived It Ten Times or More
Rating: G
Word Count: 600
Summary: Crossover with Doctor Who, shown from Martha's perspective. We were walking down the street, and that’s when I saw him. On the opposite side. He looked just like he had the last time I’d glanced his way, lying comatose next to his mother.

3 Connected Vignettes
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1000
Summary: Third person, first person, second person. So will you rock your world? Now that you know you can? Will you go back? It won’t just be a stopping visit, will it? Once you’re out of here, you’re out for good.

Dust to Dust
Rating: G
Word Count: 1000
Summary: First ever Ashes to Ashes fic? Possibly. Except I got it totally wrong, of course. The times had changed, but he hadn’t changed with them. He’d clung onto times long past. His wardrobe hadn’t altered much in over five years and he couldn’t think of a single reason to rectify that.

Something Close to Normal
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 850
Summary: Perpetual blue skies and light wind. Barely a cloud to be seen. Where’s the rain he’s so used to? Plants must be dying, all over the place, dying. But no, he doesn’t really care.

The Two Deaths of Gene Hunt
Rating: G
Word Count: 1200
Summary: Warning: Character death. I watched Gene die in 1973. In a manner of speaking, at the very least.

The Too, Too Fragile Mind
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1700
Summary: There's some not entirely accurate quoting of the Philip Larkin poem "This Be the Verse" in this one. Dark. Quiet. Perfect.

high aspirations, moderate expectations, and small needs
Rating: G
Word Count: 1246
Summary: Sam's not the best copper Phyllis has ever met. He's definitely not the worst.

You Have Power, Rank, Command, Influence
Rating: G
Word Count: 666
Summary: The title and a couple of the lines in this come slightly modified from Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott. Ivanhoe (the cat) meets Sam (the adult.)

Not By Mechanical Aid
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1400
Summary: “We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aid, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn.” - Henry David Thoreau

5 Clichés That Weren't
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1100
Summary: Ray-centric fic. It was never a “hello, Ray” or a “how are you today, Ray?” No, it was always “do this”, “do that”, “say please”, “say thanks”, say you felt like punching his lights out, what would happen?

Five Fantasies Sam Tyler Didn’t Live
Rating: G
Word Count: 1000
Summary: Self-explanatory title. This is bordering on crack.

Poor Diddums
Rating: G
Word Count: 545
Summary: This was inspired by an interview with Philip Glenister where he said John Simm occasionally hated his dialogue because it made Sam sound like a "fucking wimp." I momentarily got offended on Sam's behalf and then clocked myself around the head for being an idiot. Sam stood, doing his best to loom over Gene menacingly. He looked like he might topple to the side.

In the Eye of the Beholder
Rating: G
Word Count: 640
Summary: Set during Series 2, Episode 5. Three alternative views of the episode.

This is the Story that Goes Like This
Rating: PG
Word Count: 850
Summary: This was my reaction to what I was sure was going to happen in the final episode. It's been a long day at the station. It's often been a long day. They're long days because being on the force is hard, alright?

You. Me. This Jerk.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 501
Summary: Gene in the future, because the concept still amuses me.

Offsider
Rating: PG
Word Count: 515
Summary: Annie-centric. Annie’d been wearing her hat incorrectly for years and no one’d told her otherwise.

On the Edge of a Blade
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2100
Summary: Those boys may never learn that going undercover leads to danger.

Keep Me Hanging On
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 715
Summary: Warning: Character Death. Gene dies on Monday. Intended bullet. Sam spins to see it, unable to stop it, sailing through the air to lodge in Gene’s left temple.

Looking Through You
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 965
Summary: Gen. Dark. An alternative take on part of 2.08.

St. Elsewhere
Rating: G
Word Count: 700
Summary: Gen Christmas fluff-fic. Ordinarily, Sam neither likes nor dislikes Christmas.

Seven Years
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1430
Summary: Technically Sam/Annie, but actually more about a platonic Sam/Gene relationship. Based on something we've learnt about Ashes to Ashes.

Think Big Thoughts but Derive Small Pleasures
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2000
Summary: This is cracky buddy cop gen. Sam’s face broke into an almighty grin. “Oh. Oh, this is truly the stuff of dreams, this. The great Gene Hunt’s become tiny-winey, eency-weency. The legend, belittled, quite literally.”

The One Where Sam (Pretty Much) Saves the Day
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2000
Summary: It can’t get any better than seeing your partner get dragged off by an idiot who resembles the Jolly Green Giant in all ways except being jolly and, er, green.

The Dissolution of Truth
Rating: G
Word Count: 900
Summary: They talk a lot but say very little.

Five Careers Sam Tyler Never Had
Rating: PG
Word Count: 960
Summary: As the title says.

Five Times Gene Footed the Bill
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2165
Summary: This is gen is the same way any of my buddy cop fic is gen, which is to say; not much, but Sam and Gene aren't shagging. Yet.

Everything is Good for You
Rating: G
Word Count: 700
Summary: Title and header lyrics from “Everything is Good for You” by Crowded House. The hospital is a hustle and bustle of movement and distraction.

Five Times Gene Made Sam Cry
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1770
Summary: Warning for darkness and character death. The Arms was uncommonly quiet as they sat side by side, whisky and a glance between them.

Some Fantastic
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3000
Summary: Gene calls it ‘settling in’, I call it ‘resignation to my fate’. No more fighting. No more shouting. I’ll just accept it for what it is. I’m stuck here whether I want to be or not. And some days, it’s more want than others, so it’s not all bad.

Forgetting Tomorrow
Rating: G
Word Count: 19,000
Summary: Trapped in 1973, not knowing if he’s in a coma, or genuinely travelled back in time from 2006. The identity crisis couldn’t get any worse for Sam Tyler. Until something goes wrong. And things aren’t only difficult for Sam. Try working a murder investigation minus the knowledge base of an integral member of your team. “You are not the murdering type, Sam Tyler. The sooner you get that thick notion out of your head, the better.”

Every Little Counts Part 1 & Part 2
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 17,000
Summary: After they're fired by the corrupt Superintendent Rathbone, Sam and Gene set up their own Private Investigation agency. “If we do this thing – and I cannot stress this enough - if - we are going to be known either as private eyes or private investigators - not private dicks. I don’t know what kind of clientele you’re after, but it’s not the same as mine.”

The Space Between Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
Rating: PG
Word Count: 9000
Summary: There are times when they're that far apart and times when they can't really be without each other. A breeze whipped up the chill night air. Sam folded his arms across his chest, drawing his heat within himself, until he was a tight ball of frustration.

Palimpsest
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 10,500
Summary: Set after Series 2, Episode 8. This is not a cheerful story and deals with the issue of suicide.
Palimpsest - The overwriting and reusing of parchment so that different texts can exist on one page.

To Know One's Worth Part 1 & Part 2
Rating: PG
Word Count: 15,500
Summary: Set after Series 2, Episode 8. Crossover with Miss Marple. Sam Tyler. Gene Hunt. Miss Marple. Murder. “Then we’re left with no definite suspects and no real idea of motive,” Sam replied, gloomily. He wandered to the coffee table and picked up another biscuit, as if hoping it would magically solve the case.

The Scorpian's Sting!!!
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1200
Summary: Sort of based on the ongoing Daily Mail Life on Mars fic written by Tom Graham. This was supposed to be a report about the burglary down at McGinty's Corner Shop.

Nothing Quite Like It for Cooling the Blood
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1485
Summary: Written for thesmallhobbit as part of Life on Mars Ficathon 2010, with the prompts ‘buddy cop, countryside accident, happy ending’. To be honest, this came out more as ‘slash without the kissing’ than buddy cop, for which I can only apologise.

Sweet Freedom Whispered In My Ear
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1800
Summary: Gene raised an eyebrow. "D'you look dead to you?"/The bitterness in Sam's voice could hardly be mistaken. "Most days I feel dead."

Spotless Mind
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2170
Summary: “Do you ever forget stuff, Gene? Stuff that you should by rights know?”

Gone Far Away Into the Silent Land
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2100
Summary: This story revolves around themes of death. He missed Stu, when he was learning to be a soldier, and later when he kept the peace in a country that didn't really want him. He'd write, but it wasn't an adequate replacement for the time they'd spend together.

Can't Explain this Feeling
Rating: G
Word Count: 1100
Summary: Gene tells Sam how he feels about him.

Five things Sam Tyler told Gene Hunt about the Future (and one Gene Believed)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2850
Summary: Gen with a Sam & Gene friendship focus. This is written for neuralclone for a prompt she gave me, er, half a year ago. This turned out slightly slashier than I intended, sorry NC. It's more Guy Love than slash, though. ♥

* Slash *



The Art of Missing Something
Rating: M 15+
Word Count: 350
Summary: Sam/Gene. Sam misses love. It’s such a stupid, simplistic, childish way of looking at it. Like love is an object to be ferried to and fro. A tangible whole you can place in your pocket. But it’s true. He misses it.

And for dessert...
Rating: M 15+
Word Count: 300
Summary: Sam/Gene. It's lunchtime and they're at Sam's flat.

This Moment, Here
Rating: PG
Word Count: 345
Summary: Sam/Gene. Set just after Series 2, Episode 2. He’s smiling at me, all warm and relaxed and I wonder why he can’t be like that all the time. But for whatever demons that plague him, he’s not, and I’ve got to accept it.

Through Sickness and in Health
Rating: PG
Word Count: 274
Summary: Sam/Gene. Sam's unwell.

Touch
Rating: PG
Word Count: 422
Summary: He lives for danger.

This Home
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 300
Summary: Gene's fingertips are like sandpaper on his hips, wearing down the years of solitude and hurt.

Everyone's An Island Edged with Sand
Rating: PG
Word Count: 500
Summary: A not-quite-so-cheery Sam/Gene. The title is from the Bruce Cockburn song “Night Train” because the line reminded me of Matthew Arnold’s To Marguerite: Continued.

Eddies in the Dust of Rage
Rating: M 15+
Word Count: 800
Summary: Sam/Gene. He wanted to challenge Gene, to show him that he was wrong about something, anything.

Reality Fades Softly
Rating: PG
Word Count: 880
Summary: Sam/Gene. Written as a companion piece to Eddies in the Dust of Rage. It had started with him wanting to challenge ideals, and he had, most definitely. His own.

Plausibility
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 700
Summary: Sam/Gene. PWP. Plausibility is a big thing for Sam. It’s what he bases his life on. Everything has to be plausible. Realistic. Right.

To Fall for Fixation
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 840
Summary: Sam/Gene. Warning: Character Death. “I did it for you,” he said, his steps heavy against the floorboards as he paced.

What Is and What Should Never Be
Rating: PG
Word Count: 782
Summary: Sam/Gene. “What’s the matter, Guv? You’re looking a little worse for wear. You weren’t scared, were you?”

This I Know to be True
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1840
Summary: Sam/Gene. Sam is scowling and Gene’s surprised, but he thinks it’s worth it so long as Sam is here in front of him.

Rebel Rebel
Rating: PG
Word Count: 930
Summary: Sam/Gene.
When he thought he’d lost him, lost them, Sam tried to fill the void. Late nights in places he’d known about and never been. Trying to pound away the pain.


Oldest Trick in the Book & Are You In Or Out
Rating: PG-13 & NC-17
Word Count: 300+ words each.
Summary: Sam/Gene. 2 short ficlets.

The Central and Inevitable Experience
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2007
Summary: Sam/Gene. Set during series 1. “It’s true what they say. You can’t go home again,” Sam said, leaning against the wall, eyes drowsy, limbs like dead weights.

Never Expected, Always Wanted
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 860
Summary: Sam/Gene. Sam just can’t get rid of the interrogation technique. Once a copper, always a copper, even when pushed up tight against another copper, lips and hands and skin.

Inverse [Written as petametermaid.]
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2300
Summary: Sam/Gene. PWP. "No. That’s part of it sure, but…” Sam stops. His face clears and he rubs his full lower lip with his thumb. It’s as if he’s finally figured out Pythagoras’s theorem after three solid years of being confused. “Do you, perhaps, need a crash course in male anatomy?"

Said and Unsaid [Written as petametermaid.]
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1700
Summary: Sam/Gene. "I promise I'll only take advantage if I absolutely have to." The bell chimes and Sam stands. "Time for my rounds. Make yourself a coffee or something, otherwise I'll come back to a Gene Genie icicle, and I'm not sure I've the strength to carry you."

Guess I'm Doing Fine
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1200
Summary: Sam/Gene. Warning: Character Death. These are the things he remembers: the crisp starch of his collar, the rhythmic clack of his shoes, his eyes when he smiled, his chest softly heaving.

Aggressive Male Affection
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1155
Summary: Sam/Gene PWP. With apologies to Mark Greig, who probably didn’t envisage this when he wrote that line. Then again, judging by the slash quotient of that episode, maybe he did. Sam gives him hope. When Sam also gives him that holier-than-thou smirk and Gene’s fist is itching for connection, that's what he remembers.

Just Your Average Day in CID
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1190
Summary: Sam/Gene PWP. So sometimes Sam says things just to get Gene riled up.

Cut Scene
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 660
Summary: Sam/Gene. A PWP scene cut from 'Everything in its Right Place' so that the fic could maintain its PG-13 rating. It slots into Part 3. You don't really have to have read the other story to read this, though.

A Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1500
Summary: Sam/Gene PWP. Title from Paradise Lost. Oh Milton, us fangirls abuse you so. The springs creak and the metal clangs, and Gene thinks they sound like his self-will, cracking under the pressure.

The Divinest Thing In Us
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 696
Summary: Warren/Crane. "They'd still try and stop you," Stephen says, well-versed in dirty deals.
"You know, everyone who tries to stop me ends up begging me to stay."


Tactile
Rating: PG
Word Count: 670
Summary: Sam/Gene. The first time Gene touched him in a way that didn't signal threat, Sam hardly noticed, although it sparked something in the back of his mind.

Learnalilgivinanlovin
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1175
Summary: Sam/Gene PWP. Gene feigns command, but an insistent thrust of his hips belies the tone. "I am your superior officer, Tyler, I must know about your whereabouts at all times."/"Right. Then I should warn you that pretty soon I'm going to be behind you, giving you some aggressive male affection."

Wrap Your Arms Around Me
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1380
Summary: Sam/Gene PWP. Based on those A2A spoilers, and sort of using the same idea as 'Seven Years', but with a different slant. Title from the song by Barenaked Ladies.

Problems Should Be Shared
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1325
Summary: Sam/Gene PWP. He clenches his fists by his sides and refrains from launching himself at the trunk of Gene’s body, tearing off every item of his polyester casing, and tasting each square inch. But only just.

Boys and their Toys
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1550
Summary: Rathbone wants CID to take a firearms refresher course. Sam and Gene decide to make it interesting.

Love me 'til Tomorrow if you Could
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2200
Summary: Sam/Gene slash. Set after 2.08. Another title from the Barenaked Ladies song "Wrap Your Arms Around Me", because I've decided it's my Sam/Gene anthem. Gene looks and takes a deep breath, not knowing if it's best to say nothing and do everything or do nothing and say everything, or something in-between; a happy medium.

Five Times Sam Tyler Made Gene Hunt Beg
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2000
Summary: Sam/Gene slash, with some mild kink thrown in. "Please isn't good enough, Hunt. I want more than 'please'."

4 PWPs
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: Approx 800 each
Summary: 4 PWP commentfics from the pornbattle. Spoilers for 2.08.

What a Lovely Way to Burn
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1766
Summary: There's a bead of sweat edging its way down Sam's neck. It's going slowly, extremely slowly, shimmering as if in the reflected glare of a sun that's far too hot for any time of year in Manchester, let alone spring.

the first thing you see
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 535
Summary: Gene always looks at him as if he's searching for something. Sam isn't sure what.

Under My Thumb
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 968
Summary: Sam sat on the edge of the sofa, doing his level best not to stare at the curve of Gene's arse as he topped up two whisky glasses. Sam had been staying at Gene's house for five days, with another six days looming ahead as repairs were being made to his ceiling.

Five Places
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2940
Summary: This is total fluff. Sam/Gene slash set in 1974. It was the end of their shift staking out Trembath. Gene was complaining about back pain, Sam was starving hungry, and they stumbled along the road together, looking for a pub to get some rest and relaxation.

Motivational Skills
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2460
Summary: Sam has a way of getting Gene to do what he wants.

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1140
Summary: Sam had stopped managing to see straight around four pints before. Least, it would have been pints if they'd still been at the Arms. Actually, it was three pints and one Gene-exacted measure from a Party Seven, which could be anything from a pint to a pint and three quarters, Sam wasn't sure.

Love and Happiness
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 500
Summary: It shouldn't work. But it does.

Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice
Rating: PG
Word Count: 770
Summary: The biscuits began appearing on his desk on Tuesday. Geoff was very perplexed. Biscuits. Done up in a little bag with a bow.

Hopes and Expectations
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1330
Summary: It's freezing cold, so anyone with sense would be indoors by now, curled up with a cuppa or a fine brew; but neither of them is particularly sensible, so they're out.

A Treasure That I Have Gained
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2270
Summary: They work together well, though Sam would never say so.

Comfort in a Coffee Cup
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 600
Summary: This was their last goodbye.

As Humans, We Crave Disappointment
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4844
Summary: Sam/Gene. For the longest time, all Sam has wanted is to go home. When he takes the opportunity to return to 2007, he discovers that home is not where he thought it was.

Tangible/Intangible
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2750
Summary: Sam/Gene. Sam shouldn’t have given Gene a key to his flat.

No Sweeping Exits or Offstage Lines
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 6100
Summary: Sam/Gene. Richie's an honest bookmaker, until Sanders enters his life. And then he's forced to deal with Hunt and Tyler. Let joy be unconfined.

Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3000
Summary: Sam/Gene. Title and inspiration from Beck's "Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes", known most notably from the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind soundtrack. It starts like all of Sam’s relationships start – with Sam being oblivious.

Brace Yourself (Here Comes the Blade) [Written as petametermaid]
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5900
Summary: Sam/Gene. It's a weekend away in Blackpool that doesn't exactly go according to plan. “Never said I was complaining now.” Sam’s eyes glinted, but Gene didn’t see, it being one of the rare occasions where he had his eyes on the road. “Sometimes it’s just nice to get it over and done with.”

Common Failings Among Honourable People
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4800
Summary: Sam/Gene. Gene does that thing he does where he stares at me like I’m reciting Nostradamus in reverse, and I don’t know, maybe I’m doing the equivalent, but I can’t be bothered to explain any more.

No Aphrodisiac Like Loneliness
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4600
Summary: AU, set after 2.07. Title from the song 'No Aphrodisiac' by The Whitlams. It was stupid, but that didn't stop his pulse racing extra quickly during the sound of rattling keys, like he was some kind of excitable puppy and Sam his master. Sam!

A Strange Mistake to Make
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3000
Summary: Angst-laden sex. Lack of verbal communication.

Thanks, That Was Fun
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 9000
Summary: Sam/Gene. Working with Gene was dangerous and the danger lurked on every corner.

Put Away Childish Things Part 1 & Part 2
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 11,500
Summary: Sam/Gene, with mentions of Sam/Annie. Set after Series 2, Episode 8. "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things" (1 Corinthians 13:11.)

Everything in its Right Place Part 1 & Part 2 & Part 3
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 15,300
Summary: Sam/Gene. AU.
“Right, what’ve you been doing, Tyler? Is this an early birthday joke? Because I’m the only one with the authority to piss about with elaborate schemes dedicated to humiliation.”/“It’s not me. At least, I don’t think it’s me. I mean, I haven’t done anything, but… Gene – we’re not in 1973 anymore.”

The Decemberists Series
All titles are songs from The Decemberists. Sam and Gene find themselves in a tight situation and snatch a stolen moment when they're caught in an explosion. After rescue, they have to navigate successful criminal capture with damaged bodies and conflicted emotions. In total, the story is a little less than 20,000 words.
We Both Go Down Together [NC-17]
Red Right Ankle [PG]
How I Dreamt I Was An Architect [NC-17]
Of Angels and Angles [PG-13]
Billy Liar [PG]
The Perfect Crime #2 [NC-17]
The Sporting Life [PG-13]

can fight the sleep but not the dream
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 10423
Summary: Sam/Gene slash of an angsty nature. Warning: Character Death. Title from “Weather With You” by Crowded House. Sam is finding it difficult to distinguish between reality and unreality.

It's About to be Writ Again
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7470
Summary: Sam/Gene. Alternate Universe, Gene In the Future. He hadn't been a DI for seven years, and now he had to answer to this young little tight-arse who thought he knew everything. And try as he might, when it was in view, Gene couldn't stop looking at that tight arse, which was one of the reasons he didn't want to go first.

A Dream Upon Waking
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2200
Summary: Sam/Gene. (Five Times Sam couldn't sleep.) "I don't know, that's the thing. And ever since I haven't been able to sleep, very strange things have been happening. Bizarre things, even. Totally fucking cracked things."

A Solitary Man
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4000
Summary: Sam/Gene. Written in the corner are a few scrawled words. He knows this writing. It's not his mother's, and it's not his. I thought you'd go looking. Keep at it.

The Long Way Home
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4000
Summary: Sam/Annie (break up), Sam/Gene. Should he dare to tell Gene that his insides do a flip every time he looks at him, his life could easily become just as confusing as it would were he to finally find out how he’s managed metaphysical transportation, and Sam’s not sure which one he’s most yearning to avoid.

Strangers in the Night
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4175
Summary: Sam/Gene. Those who weren't on shift guarding, acquiring, or strategising either slept in one of the cells or sat playing cards. The first few nights had been thick with smoke and the stench of booze, but they'd begun to realise they were in it for the long haul and it was rare to see anyone with a fag dangling between their lips.

Night and Day
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3755
Summary: Sam/Gene. The appearance of undead creatures was unbelievable enough, but to attach time travel as well seemed a bit too farfetched.

Call Me Irresponsible
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4,585
Summary: Sam/Gene. Contains violence, character death, and gore. "I don't like this," Chris muttered. "It's too quiet."

Could be Heaven, or Could be Hell
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3,500
Summary: Sam/Gene. All he knew was that this was the catalyst for the ensuing events that led to him being forced to share a motel room with Gene. A motel room with one king-sized bed, and little else.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 360
Summary: Sam/Gene, based on a quote from A2A 2.08, to be found after the cut. Sam tells Gene the truth about where he comes from.

Something Lost Along the Way
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6600
Summary: Sam/Warren non-con, Sam/Gene preslash. Graphic depiction of non-consensual sex. Episode 1.04 AU. Warren uses Joni to get Sam to come to him. Sam swallowed thickly, rolling his head back. He knew what Warren was implying, and it wasn't mere implication. His message was loud and clear. He had the power. He had the power and Sam had nothing.

Ammunition
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1772
Summary: Sam/Gene. After a shoot-out gone wrong, Sam/Gene hardcore I-thought-I'd-lost-you sex.

Just For One Day
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1973 \o/
Summary: Sam/Gene. Sam and Gene pull an all-nighter over a murder investigation.

You Have Been Watching
Rating: PG
Word Count: 7500
Summary: Sam/Gene. Gene ignored the taunt and played with the end of his tie, pondering the origins of a small, greasy-looking stain. "Why're you bringing up that stupid suggestion? It was a joke, wasn't it?"/"It wasn't. I really think Lewis's might be the key."/"Thousands of people go to department stores every day, Tyler. It's not a connection, it's coincidence."

Eternal Caravan of Reincarnation
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4,300
Summary: What makes him go silent? Remembering that he is the wrong person in the wrong time, that no matter how close he and his co-workers become, there will always be this space between them; a limitless emptiness not unlike the expanse of snow now stretched over Manchester streets.

A Matter of Opinion
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1500
Summary: Sam/Gene, written for chamekke as part of help_haiti. He has a bone-chilling and heart-rending feeling that the simple fact he thinks about Sam so much proves all of his worst fears.

after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart
Rating: PG
Word Count: 400
Summary: Sam/Gene. Sam and Gene play poker alone. And Sam's bluffin' with his muffin?!

A Perfectly Cromulent Encounter
Rating: G
Word Count: 400
Summary: Life on Mars/Posh Nosh. Overtones of unrequited Simon/Sam. Simon gives Sam lessons in the kitchen.

Friend is Not a Four Letter Word
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2369
Summary: Sam/Gene, past Gene/The Missus. The title's based on 'Friend is a Four Letter Word' by Cake, which has one of the sexiest damn instrumentals of any song I've ever heard.
Gene never calls him Sam when they're fucking. Not a derivation or a similarity. There's no muttered 'Sammy-boy', or 'dearest Samuel'. Not even a 'Samantha'.

Drinking Just to Get Drunk was a Waste of Precious Booze
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 885
Summary: A snapshot of a night Sam doesn’t exactly remember.

A Step Away from Control
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1300
Summary: Sam/Gene PWP with some power-play going on. He never thought he’d get off on kneeling before another man, but Sam’s always making him do things he’s never thought about before.

A Step Towards Release
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2130
Summary: Sam/Gene PWP, set in the same universe as A Step Away from Control. There are punches thrown, rimming, and themes of dominance and submission. “My God,” Sam says, harshly. “You’re getting off on this.” He narrows his eyes, twisting the tie tight and inching Gene closer. “Do you want to be punished, Gene? Is that it?”

Wordplay
Rating: R
Word Count: 600
Summary: Sam/Gene fluff for porntober! There have been stolen kisses, snatched touches, but this is more than that and they both know it.

Never Close Enough
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 850
Summary: Sam/Gene PWP (of a distinctly fluffy variety). For the prompts ‘messy’, ‘oil’ and ‘pleading’ in my Porntober Pervember noughts and crosses grid. This is the only time when Sam is pliant and flexible. The only time when he lets Gene push, and doesn’t snark back.

Call it Impulsive, Call it Compulsive (Call it Insane)
Rating: R
Word Count: 975
Summary: Sam/Gene. Title from the Barenaked Ladies song ‘Brian Wilson’. I once again bring PWP that borders on fluff. He has the reasoning skills of a particularly incompetent politician. This simultaneously annoys and overjoys Gene, because he thinks that had Sam been able to mount a convincing argument, there’d be no resistance.

Once and Future
Rating: R
Word Count: 2395
Summary: Manservant Samuel/Prince Eugene. The basic premise of this fic is, “what if Sam, Gene et al were in Merlin instead of Merlin, Arthur et al.” So it’s a hodgepodge of anachronisms, a pastiche of a pastiche of a collection of legends. Written for the ‘out of time’ challenge at 1973flashfic. Is he under a spell, knocked on the head, or back in time? Whatever’s happened, it’s like he’s landed in another century. Oh, right. He’s under a spell. His own. Which means he’s also back in time. And sometimes he gets knocked on the head. By the Prince.

* Het *



Consumer
Rating: G
Word Count: 450
Summary: Gene/The Missus. Gene shook his head. “You’re a right consumer, you are. The only one I know who’d spend pound upon pound just to get some kitchen appliance shipped in from America.”

Goodbye is Just A Word
Rating: G
Word Count: 1260
Summary: Sam/Annie. The worst thing was that part of her was beginning to believe him about this going home business. He was always so earnest about it. He knew things he shouldn’t know. How could a man who seemed so sane and logical in everything else be completely off his head?

Give and Take
Rating: G
Word Count: 1100
Summary: Gene/The Missus. This is an idealised look at Gene's homelife, because I admit, I kind of desperately picture Gene and his wife to be in this loving and committed relationship which stands the test and ravages of time. Because I am a great big sap.

Three For Tea
Rating: G
Word Count: 2175
Summary: Gene/The Missus. Sam joins them for tea. “In the same vein,” Clara said, “I don’t know about you, but I always find that people look down upon the potato. It’s not really valued when it comes to fine cuisine.”
“I completely agree. Most seem to equate potatoes with mash and chips – these aren’t exactly awash with the notion of high culture,” Sam said, waving his fork around and taking a sip of wine.


A Million Ways to be Cruel
Rating: M 15+
Word Count: 1400
Summary: Sam/Annie. The obligatory gender-switch, body-swap crackfic – written as a series of drabbles. It had been ages since he’d had contact with the female physique (LSD and bouncy bouncy did not count; he hadn’t been fully sentient), and now, here they were, right there for him to touch.

Unglamourous Love Scene
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 725
Summary: Sam/Annie. Love is not some object you can put in a box and store away for later. It’s more like a living, breathing animal, crawling around a cage. Your rib cage, maybe. Perhaps your head. He’s not sure.

Your Heart was an Open Book
Rating: G
Word Count: 710
Summary: Gene/The Missus. How Gene met his wife.

Spend Forever for a Moment's Gain
Rating: PG
Word Count: 880
Summary: Sam/Annie. Some people don’t know how much trouble they can brew.

Private Universe
Rating: G
Word Count: 725
Summary: Sam/Annie. The lift got stuck halfway between floors two and three.

At the End of the Day
Rating: G
Word Count: 1200
Summary: Sam/Annie. The pot plant in the corner of the room was wilting. She’d noticed that a couple of days before and meant to water it, refill the saucer she’d placed underneath.

There is a Light that Never Goes Out
Rating: PG
Word Count: 900
Summary: Sam/Annie. Sam spends half of his time thinking about Annie’s lips. He’s grown to accept this. Annie’s got great lips - always pink, even with no make up.

Knowing is not as good as Loving [Written as petametermaid.]
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 900
Summary: Sam/Annie. PWP. He winds his arms around her and it’s painful, but she welcomes the pain, relishes it, because at least it’s something other than numb.

as pretty and lovely as you [Written as petametermaid.]
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1080
Summary: Sam/Phyllis. Suggestions of dubious consent. She pulls the pins out of her hair and lets it fall in waves and tendrils, light brown and flowing. He’s never seen her with her hair down. She’s always kept it up before. Keeping this strictly severe. But he’s been a good boy. He deserves a measure of tenderness.

it's the next best thing to be
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,080
Summary: Sam/Annie. "I love you," she said, and all he could do was stare.

Been An Angel All Year
Rating: PG
Word Count: 600
Summary: Sam/Annie. Matthew Graham wrote LoM Christmas Fic. This is a follow-on from the first section of that, so spoilers - and for 2.08 too. Title from ‘Santa Baby’.

Five Times Ruth Forgave Sam
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,625
Summary: As the title says.

Five times Maya's mother really hated Sam Tyler
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 955
Summary: As the title says.

Like a Good Time That's Never Been Had
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4000
Summary: Sam/Annie. Sam knows he's forgetting something important, something to do with life and living. He's just not sure what it is. “Everyone deserves to live, it’s how they live their lives that determines what this world could and could not be.”

As You Become a Habit to Me
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2575
Summary: His hands are sticky. This is the age when most other boys pull pigtails and make porky faces; but not Gene. He rubs his palms down the seat of his trousers and feigns nonchalance as he walks over.

* Other *



Dial M for Mobile
Rating: G
Word Count: 300
Summary: Sam/Maya & Sam/Mobile Phone. It was so new. And shiny. It was silver and sleek and ergonomically designed to fit perfectly into his hand.

The Number You Have Dialled Has Crashed Into A Planet
Rating: G
Word Count: 500
Summary: Sam/Mobile Phone. I kind of started a whole genre of Life on Mars fan fic with this one. Sorry. Set before the series begins. Sam loves his mobile phone.

Goodnight, Sweetheart
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1000
Summary: Sam/Annie/Gene threesome. This isn’t his imagination. It’s real. It’s nothing like his fantasies. Gene’s kissing Annie and pawing at his trousers at the same time. Sam’s stroking his hand up Annie’s back and curling his fingers into her smooth, wavy hair.

The One with the Thing
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1000
Summary: Life on Mars fan fiction, as written by Danny Butterman from Hot Fuzz.

"plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose"
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 858
Summary: Sam/Maya, Sam/Gene. A look at Sam from two different perspectives.

And Cure His Heart
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2300
Summary: Allusions to Sam/Gene and unrequited Sam/Annie. Allusions to Ruth/Sam and Ruth/Vic/Sam. Warning: Incestual overtones. Written for the 1973flashfic remix challenge.

The Pen is Mighty
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,226
Summary: This is smutty and slightly cracky. Sam/Stationery & Sam/Furniture, plus unrequited Sam/Gene and Gene/Annie. There are sexual acts in here that are not advocated. And an "IT Crowd" reference.

Simplicity and Familiarity
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 241
Summary: Sam/Sockpuppet.


And the same information, ordered slightly differently, in my memories.


Comments 
10th-Jan-2011 05:23 am (UTC)
Congratulations on getting the big update done!

And as I seem to be stuck in proofreader mode this weekend...

Under *Slash*:

can fight the sleep but not the dream
Word Count: 10423

It's About to be Writ Again
Word Count: 7470

P.S. I take it back: "can fight the sleep but not the dream" is depressing. Although I'd probably use the phrase 'deeply disturbing' instead.
11th-Jan-2011 03:05 am (UTC)
I knew I must have missed something. Thank you :)
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