Loz (lozenger8) wrote,
Loz
lozenger8

Age is a fluid concept...

When I was teaching, I felt old and responsible. In the good way. I felt like my life had purpose and that I was important somehow. I felt in charge - not necessarily of others, but of myself, of my life.

At this moment in time, I feel young and insecure. Life is scary again. It's this big thing out there. Not something I have a handle on. And all of my lack of experience is in the forefront of my mind. I'm getting into that paranoid state where I wonder things like "how can I ever possibly hope to teach about that, when the closest I've come is my imagination?" - and this applies to many, many things.

For a while there, I knew I was 23. And I was happy to be 23. It was the right age mentally as well as physically. Now I think I may as well be 13 again.
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