Loz (lozenger8) wrote,
Loz
lozenger8

Ficlet 7

Title: An Inflatable Ego
Fandom: due South
Rating: G
Word Count: 685 words
Notes: For pigtailedgirl, who requested due South. Gen F/V "Come with me."



“Come with me.” Ray said as he stretched his arm out. Fraser stood guard in front of the consulate. He stared steadfastly forward. “Benny. Your guarding time is almost up. Come on. I wanna show you something.”

Fraser neither spoke nor moved. Ray tapped his foot with impatience. He hopped from side to side. He waved his hand in front of Fraser’s face. He was starting to turn away. Fraser placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Just let me inform the Inspector and I’ll be with you in a moment, Ray.”

“Don’t worry about that. Just come.”

“You’re being awfully insistent, Ray.”

“Yeah, well, that’s because we don’t have much time.”

Ray began running down the street, his patent leather shoes clattering with purpose. Fraser followed. As they ran, Fraser called out to Ray.

“This is an emergency? Is anyone in danger?”

Ray replied between puffs. “Yes, it’s an emergency. No, no-one’s in danger.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why is it so urgent?”

They turned the corner and stopped in an alleyway.

“Look!” Ray said, pointing up to the sky. Two metres into the air was a large, plastic, inflated Mountie. It appeared to be wedged between the two brick walls of the alley.

“Ah.”

“That’s it? Ah? There’s a giant inflated Mountie above our heads and you say “Ah”?”

“What do you want me to say, Ray?”

“How about ‘oh, look, Ray, there’s a giant inflated Mountie above our heads!’?”

Fraser’s voice was flat, matter-of-fact and laden with sarcasm. “Oh, look, Ray. There’s a giant inflated Mountie above our heads.”

“Now you’re just being a jerk.”

Fraser sniffed indignantly. “I am not.”

“Are too.”

“Ray, if I might suggest, perhaps we ought to be striving to catch this giant inflated Mountie? It could become a hazard and cause any number of obstructions.”

“It’s stuck, Benny.”

“As you obviously felt before, it might not be for long. I think we should at least attempt to bring it down.”

“Yeah, sure, Benny. What’re you gonna do? Fly up and grab it?”

“It’s not too far away from this dumpster. I calculate that if I jumped from the edge here and grasped hold of the Mountie’s left leg, my weight would drag the entire creation down.”

“Breaking your leg in the process. Or maybe something else. No way, Benny. I have a better idea.”

“Yes, Ray?”

“I’ll shoot it down.”

“You would shoot a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police?”

Ray rubbed his hand over his forehead. “It’s not really a member of the RCMP, Fraser.”

“Perhaps not, but it’s still an unnecessarily rash action, Ray.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. We won’t shoot it. But you’re not climbing up there either.”

“What will we do, Ray?”

“I have no idea.”

“Maybe…”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe I could climb up onto the roof and jump on its back?”

“You have a death wish, you know that?”

“I’m just trying to solve the problem that is presented before us. Unlike some.”

Ray gazed up at the balloon once more. He rolled his eyes.

“Look.”

“I am looking, Ray.”

“There’s a string.”

Fraser frowned. “I’m sorry?”

“There’s a string attached to the right arm, there. We can drag the thing out of here, take it back to the consulate.”

“Ah.”

“Yes. Ah.”

Ray jumped half a foot into the air and grabbed hold of the string, pulling it tentatively forward. He had to pull it to and fro before the balloon came loose. He muttered as he did so.

“Thank you kindly, Ray. I’ll take it from here.”

Fraser took the string from Ray’s hand and led the balloon out of the alley. Several passers-by on the street stopped and stared.

“I was thinking, Ray.” Fraser grinned at Ray, his blue eyes shining. “Maybe there’s a giant inflated Chicago Detective somewhere in another alleyway. We should go looking.”

“Let’s just see how The Dragon Lady reacts to your friend here before we go collecting any others, Benny.”

“You were the one who wanted me to see it, Ray.”

“I know.”

“Aren’t you pleased?”

“Sure.”

“You’re upset I took it from you, aren’t you?”

“…”

Tags: due south, writing
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