Loz (lozenger8) wrote,
Loz
lozenger8

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I searched for form and land, for years and years I roamed...

Title: The Man Who Sold the World
Fandom: Life on Mars
Rating: G
Word Count: 300 words
Notes: Sam-centric gen. Title from the David Bowie song.



He should have anticipated the loneliness. He didn’t. He’s hollow inside; a void which someone could crawl into if they so wished. No-one would ever want to be in Sam’s skin. He certainly doesn’t want to be.

For a time, 2006 was ‘home’ to him. He forgot what 2006 actually was. Death. Destruction. And pain. Sexism, racism, classism and every ism you could imagine all rolled up into an ever imploding world.

He could ignore it. He could know that darkness exists and concentrate only on the minuscule, only on the issues which affected him directly. He’s had a mirror held up to his reality and it’s cracked. All issues affect him. And he affects all issues in his turn.

He tells himself that he can’t solve the whole world’s problems - he can only do what he can do. He never realised he wanted to be a hero. It crept up on him, speeding through streets and running down alleyways.

But being a hero, it involves more than a healthy conscience. It involves a disconnect from the people that you’re trying to save. And he’s got that one down. He always has.

That’s the human condition, right? It’s a theme which runs through literature, film, television. It’s nothing new. The world loves heroes, the heroes just can’t love the world back.

World. Back. He wants to be back. He’d sell this world to gain another. The place he created. Speeding through streets and running down alleyways. He wants to ignore 2006 and revel in 1973.

He’s forgetting what 1973 was. Death. Destruction. And pain. Sexism, racism, classism and every ism you could imagine all rolled up into an ever exploding world.

Maybe the difference is that, in the other time, he couldn’t ignore it. And he didn’t want to.

Tags: angst, gen, life on mars, rated g, tiny, writing
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