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Living Loz
The Love Between Men 
3rd-Oct-2006 10:33 pm
Loz Celestial
Title: The Love Between Men
Rating: PG-13? I don’t know.
Fandom: Life on Mars
Word Count: 445 words.
Notes: It’s a bit difficult to describe this. I woke up with commentary in my head. No sooner had I opened my eyes than I had two voices talking without any interference from me. Since this has never happened to me before, I’m quite shocked. The title should give away what this revolves around. It’s not exactly slash, though.

“Are you sure they’re not…” Sam tilted his hand. He shrugged and said it. “Gay?”

“Of course I’m bloody sure. It might surprise you to know, Tyler, but there’s such a thing as friendship.”

“I know, but–”

“No buts about it.”

“It’s just, they’re never apart.”


“They’re always together.”


“And they almost died the other day, trying to save each other's lives.”

“Your point?”

“So, how do you know that they don’t share something more than... friendship? I mean, where’s your unequivocal proof?”

Gene’s expression was one akin to disgust.

“Look, not everything has to be tainted by sex. It’s perfectly possible for two men to enjoy spending time together without it relating to in, out, in, out, shake it all about.”

“There should be another ‘in’ there somewhere,” Sam said with a smug little grin. He rolled his head around and pushed his lips forward for a second. “And is that possible for a man and a woman too?”

“Sometimes, in set circumstances, yeah. If you’re both married-like, to other people. Or to each other.”

Sam snorted. He shook his head.

“I’m not sure you’re right.”

“Haven’t you ever had a friend? Is that it? Are you the only kind of your species or something?”

Sam looked hurt. He gazed out of the window and expelled a deep breath.

“I’ve had friends. I’ve had lots of friends.”

“And did you shag all of them?”


“So what are you blathering on about, then?”

“I never stepped in front of a bullet for any of them, either.”

There was silence. The kind in which the cliché would say you could hear a pin drop. But where the pin would drop from and why would be another matter.

“Sometimes, that kind of thing is about more than friendship. It’s about loyalty. And trust.”

“Yeah. What I’m saying, though, is that loyalty and trust often feed into the physical.”

“That may be so, but they don’t have to.”

“No, but they do. We’re only human. Our primal instincts are all about connection with others. In, out, in, out, as you so delicately put it.”

“They do connect with others – female others. They’re both married, remember?”

“I remember.” Sam waited a moment. “Are you sure you’re not insisting on this just because you’re bigotted?”

“I don’t give a damn in hell what people do in the privacy of their own homes as long as I don’t have to hear about it. You’re the one thinking of it with a mind which is simple-set.”

“Yes, but-”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Tyler. Shut your cram-hole.”


“Or I’ll shut it for you.”

“Got it.”



3rd-Oct-2006 02:26 pm (UTC)
4th-Oct-2006 03:20 am (UTC)
Thanks :)
3rd-Oct-2006 03:28 pm (UTC)
Marry me. Seriously. We can have the kind of marriage that Gene talks about in this.
4th-Oct-2006 03:21 am (UTC)
I will. :D

I'm glad you liked it >:)
3rd-Oct-2006 07:39 pm (UTC)
Lovely Loz! Lovely! I love gay-not gay banter. :D Especially between to dudes who make me wonder. ;)
4th-Oct-2006 03:21 am (UTC)
Thank you.

3rd-Oct-2006 10:45 pm (UTC)
This gets better the second time around. It's the classic slash/anti-slash argument. I've heard it. Hell, I've said quite a bit of it, in one way or another, and from both sides of the issue. It's the classic tension between someone who's comfortable with hizzer own sexuality and someone who's not.

Damn, you're good!
4th-Oct-2006 03:22 am (UTC)
Thank you :D

That was very much it, yes.
(Deleted comment)
9th-Oct-2006 12:10 pm (UTC)
Bwahah. Thanks :)
9th-Oct-2006 02:50 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHA. brilliant! :)
10th-Oct-2006 05:16 am (UTC)
Thanks :D
9th-Oct-2006 11:05 pm (UTC)
There really needs to be a giggle icon because that is what this fic made me do.

Thank you Loz!
10th-Oct-2006 05:17 am (UTC)
Thank you :D
10th-Oct-2006 06:59 am (UTC)

You know, I'd really like to know who the "they" are whom Gene and Sam are talking about.

*Hoping that last is at least slightly grammatical!*
10th-Oct-2006 07:00 am (UTC)
Umph! - that was me, that was!
18th-Nov-2006 07:46 pm (UTC)
“Look, not everything has to be tainted by sex. It’s perfectly possible for two men to enjoy spending time together without it relating to in, out, in, out, shake it all about.”

That has to be one of the bestest lines ever written! :) Loved the fic - Sam, even when being a prejudiced goit, is still so cute. Lol.

18th-Nov-2006 11:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks :D
7th-Jun-2007 06:36 pm (UTC)
I'm catching up on old LoM fics and... ta-daaa! This one pops up, and it's great, and its yours!!! When I read it, I almost choked on the huge bite of mozzarella I was eating! You're fab, girl.
7th-Jun-2007 11:07 pm (UTC)
Hee! :D Thanks!
27th-Nov-2007 02:16 pm (UTC) - How freaking weird is this?
I was doing a Google search on "The Professionals," looking for livejournal icons to cheer up a friend and *this* story game up in the results list!

Crappy morning at work? Put Sam, Gene and the "in, out, in, out" line in a story and ROFLMAO... The Hokey Pokey for the win!

Yet again, the "debate" at the heart of this fandom, beautifully outlined. Thank you!
28th-Nov-2007 10:37 am (UTC) - Re: How freaking weird is this?
What were your search terms?!

Thanks :D Not just the debate in fandom, but the debate I often have with myself.
11th-Oct-2009 03:06 pm (UTC)
Yep. “Look, not everything has to be tainted by sex. It’s perfectly possible for two men to enjoy spending time together without it relating to in, out, in, out, shake it all about.”

The best line EVER.
12th-Mar-2012 12:09 pm (UTC)
This is so gorgeously you. And them. The beautiful banter, which you do so well! I'm particularly fond of the "haven't you ever had a friend?" line.
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