Loz (lozenger8) wrote,
Loz
lozenger8

Too wild to keep together...

I only have a week left of my final teaching practicum. I've read some of my report and it is sounding overwhelmingly positive, so I'm expecting a grade of "VG: Very Good" from Sue (as this is what I got overall on my interim report).

The ratings attributed go;
U: Unacceptable - not performing at the level expected of a pre-service teacher at this time.
A: Acceptable - performing at the minimum level of a pre-service teacher at this time. (I got this on my first practicum. My supervising teacher was... awful.)
S: Sound - performing at a level reasonably expected of a pre-service teacher at this time.
VG: Very Good - performing above that which is reasonably expected of a pre-service teacher at this time. (I got this on my last practicum.)
O: Outstanding - performing well above that which is reasonably expected of a pre-service teacher at this time.

So, even though the lesson I had with my University Supervisor didn't go the way I wanted it to (or, well at all, actually), and I've made a lot of mistakes, and there are still a lot of things I need to work on, and learn, and get over, and deal with; I haven't gone too badly.

Experience and time will tell if I'm half the teacher I want to be.

And now I take this time to cry. Because I need to. I need to cry and let out all of the emotions I have bottled up over 7 weeks of being a 'normal person' (apart from the long weekend last week where, God, I am so sorry for my multiple neuroses.) 7 weeks of working with wonderful but challenging kids. 7 weeks of work which is around, oh, 3987 times harder than any work I have ever done before. Even the Thesis of doom, which those of you who were around will remember, messed me up, good and proper.

And so far, I have survived. I didn't sabotage myself and have endless nights of eternal worry (oh no, I mostly slept like a baby - going to bed at 10.30 at the latest, no less.) I didn't completely break down emotionally (although I came close once or twice, and did have that moment when I cried in front of Sue - hah!) I didn't run away screaming into the night. I made it. I'm here. Only a week left and unless something cataclysmic happens, I did it whilst having fun and doing an okay job.

I went to the School disco for the Reception (5 year old) to Year 3 (8 year old) students tonight. It was a time for me to be silly. I danced around like a loon whilst supervising. So did a couple of the other teachers, and Andrea (my fellow student teacher), so I wasn't the lone adult shaking her groove thing on the dance floor. For those who are wondering, I'm a terrible dancer. Really. I have some rhythm, but I just look like a fool. I enjoy dancing, however, and, well, I respect people who aren't afraid to make an idiot of themselves, and I tend to expect other people to do the same - especially kids.

Considering I got asked if I wanted to dance twice, I get the feeling I'm right in my expectations. Oh, my kids are so sweet. They don't have the heart to tell Miss Brown she looks like she's got two left feet. Sorry, that should be Mrs Brown, if I am going to use what they actually call me. Or Mrs Browned, if I am going to use what one of my students calls me. Or Miss Laura, if I am going to use what one of the students' mothers calls me. Hee. See now why I only go by 'Loz' online?

I have careers seminars at University June 27-29, but after that I am on holidays for a month. Yes, I am looking forward to that time, why do you ask?

I have so many fannish things I have to do tomorrow. Snippet writing, icon making, fic posting, beta-reading, due South watching and chatting.

And there concludes another thrilling installment of Living Loz: Living Crazy. Stay tuned for paint drying, grass growing, and the evolution of the amoeba, up next.
Tags: teaching
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