Loz (lozenger8) wrote,
Loz
lozenger8

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a really bad tv show...

This is me watching an episode of Smallville for the first time in years for the express purpose of seeing Callum Keith Rennie. If there's anyone on my friends list who likes this show, I apologise profusely.

Notes: 'Beam' means 'huge radiant grin' in this context. I dubbed the little girl 'Hermione' early on, because she reminded me forcefully of Emma Watson. 'CKR' is, of course, Callum Keith Rennie. And that mention of 'Stella'? The actress who plays the little girl's foster mother played Stella Kowalski in due South (the ex-wife of CKR's character Ray Kowalski in said show.) There are 15 caps under the cut, 450 pixels by 254 pixels in size. I took them, but I just checked and storymouse is brilliant so she also already has 90 caps up on her site.



Stella: *mentions Clark*

Hermione: *scribble*

Stella: "Come 'ere ya little brat."

Hermione: *refuses to talk*

Stella: *whinge*

Hermione: *shatters glass*

Stella: *shiver*

Hermione: *shatters glass*

Loz: *snerk* "die, Stella, die"

Stella: *die*

Hermione: *whimper*

Clark: *beam*

Hermione: *sorrowful eyes*

Clark: *beam*

Hermione: *small smile*

Clark: *beam*

Hermione: *talking*

Loz: "Yes, she talks, but such terrible dialogue."

Clark: *beam*

Lois: *obnoxiousness*

Loz: "Bloody hell, she's old."

Lois: *obnoxiousness*

Loz: "Really old. She's not trying to be a teen is she?"

Hermione: *hates*

Clark: *cute frown*

Loz: *yawn*

CKR: *makes everything good marginally better!*
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Hermione: *whimper*

CKR: *experimental hair*
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Lois: "[CKR is] good looking in that psychokiller kind of way"

Loz: "First smart thing you've said all episode, sweetheart."

Clark: *cute frown*

CKR: "I'm your dad!"
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Hermione: *whimper*

CKR: *beam*
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Hermione: *whimper*

Clark: *cute frown*

CKR: "Bleaugh!"
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Loz: *snerk*

Clark: *beam*

CKR: *escape*
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Clark: *beam*

Hermione: *small smile*

Clark: *cute frown*

Hermione: *whimper*

CKR: *all kinds of awesome*
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Clark: "I'm Superman, foo', you try to cut my ma? I cut you good, asshole!"

CKR: "Please don't hurt me. All I wanted was to be with my daughter and lead a normal psychokiller life, perhaps with a perky young blonde on a planet, far, far away?"
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Hermione: *whimper* *snap* *attempt murder*

CKR: *sob*
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Clark: *cute frown*

CKR: *crumple*
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Hermione: *whimper*

Clark: *beam*
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Loz: "Bleaugh!"

Yeah, this was definitely a pseudo-case of suffering for fandom. Except, I wasn't suffering, because I was delighting in mocking the whole thing. The dialogue and the acting was so very terrible. The way the plot unfolded was clunky. Not to mention the Lex/Lana action which I chose to ignore for this purpose, oh my goodness me. The thing is, even when he was all kinds of awesome, this wasn't even a good performance from Callum. So, he was going for Vaudevillian villain, I get that, I loved it, but really? Not Flower and Garnet. Not due South episodes like "Eclipse". Not even that terrific stint on Supernatural. Callum sure loves his money. I bet he has several sets of beautiful golf clubs from these artistic ventures. Not that I really blame him. I prefer bad Callum to no Callum any day of the week. Still, I'm looking forward to Leoben. I actually like Leoben.

Tags: fandom, pictures
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