After forcibly removing myself from bed to check if I had to attend every tutorial and discovering I did, for fear of failure, I got out and to University. And suddenly, everything was right with the world. I was not crying on the bus, I was cheerfully nodding my head to the music and thinking about everything in my life which has meaning. I thought about the advice and words everyone had given me, and just marvelled that I have people who care enough to even comment.
It really is most wonderful having the attention span of a particularly excitable gnat.
I was also thinking about fate. Once upon a time I would have said that I didn't believe in fate. I would have been lying, to myself and to the person asking the question. I do believe in fate. But the kind of fate I believe in is multi-faceted.
My concept of fate is one where there are choices, it's a fate of your own choosing out of a limited number of possibilities. I think of it as something akin to a choose-your-own-adventure story.
You're stuck down a well. Do you;
a) call for help.
b) start fashioning a grappling hook from your belt.
c) stay where you are and say or do nothing to extricate yourself from the well. ?
If you choose a), go to page 123; Someone comes and fetches you a rope. Unfortunately, they turn out to be an axe-wielding maniac. You see the blade glinting in the moonlight. Suddenly everything fades to black.
If you choose b), go to page 134; Your grappling hook works! You manage to successfully climb out of the well. Unfortunately, you lose your footing, and fall back down, cracking your head on the floor. Everything fades to black.
And if you choose c), go to page 17; Staying in that well is lonely at first, but soon you realise you have constructed a nice little world for yourself. You eat the lichen and moss which creep up the walls and you have a constant supply of fresh water. You live a good many years until you get pneumonia. Before you know it, everything fades to black.