Although, it has been several years.
Almost a year since I last saw him.
And I still think about him.
Pretty much every day.
I am quite sure it is not love, it is the idea of love, because I did not really know him, do not really know him, and how can you love someone you do not really know?
It's like my love of cherry pie. I've never actually had cherry pie. I love cherries, and more often than not, I love pie, so I must love cherry pie, right? Not necessarily. I love cheese, I love toast and I love tomato, but I do not love Welsh Rarebit. I may love the component parts, but I do not love the whole thing. It is undoubtedly the same with him.
I think about him because I have not met anyone else who attracts me, mentally or physically. I haven't been around enough people lately to meet anyone remotely attractive to me. I think about him because we shared common interests, and thinking of common interests makes me think of him.
I want to love and so I act like I love him when really I do not. He is not even deserving of my love, considering the aforementioned lack of actually knowing him, his occasionally high level of jerkitude, and the fact that he could be contacting me at this very moment, extremely easily, and chooses not to.
So there. We have it settled. I don't love him.
I hate him.