Loz (lozenger8) wrote,
Loz
lozenger8

When the war is over, got to start again...

I started off the day feeling overwhelmingly grumpy, what with last night's anger inducing family relationship tension, having had all of 2 hours sleep due to 27.6 degree celcius minimum temperature overnight and general "it's the morning already". But my mood progressed into relative cheerfulness, as it is often wont to do. Having a 2 minute attention span is, in some cases, a blessing.

Viewing of other people's films was ego-boosting. Ours was certainly no worse than any of the others. In fact, it was rather good, considering. So I'm still feeling resentful towards my parents, but I've been a good little girl and haven't told them where to stick it :)

It's just - even if you don't like the concept you can say "it cut together well", or if you didn't think it cut together well, you can say "you looked like you enjoyed yourselves" or even if it didn't look very fun to do you can say "you made good use of titles". There is always something positive you can say. I feel like I spend a great deal of my time praising anything one of my parents does wildly "oh, that picture's great", "I love the shading", "you made good use of colour", or "hey, the garden looks fantastic", "those plants are well placed" - anything and everything - but when it comes to the very rare time I ask for validation I get no such thing - a shrug. It's infuriating.

"But you're good with computers." That isn't the point. I taught myself everything I know on computer. I'd never used windows movie maker before. You're good at drawing and gardening, okay? I don't then take a natural aptitude to mean I say nothing in response. You shouldn't either.

Oh, and saying you're so used to me being hysterical and so didn't think I was really acting, even in jest, is not funny, it's hurtful. Bag.

I'll have to deal with this, of course. Another emotional blackhole to place in a little box upon the shelf. Teaching is such a thankless job - the compliments are few and far between. On the rungs of the professional ladder, teaching comes in relatively low, just below sewerage worker.
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