Fandom: due South
Characters: Ray K, Benton Fraser, Some Suspect
Word Count: 200 words
Notes: This was inspired by BBC show New Tricks. One character asked "Do you want me to call you a lawyer?" and I thought of a really bad joke, which has probably been used a hundred times before me, but which I wanted to use anyway. Then my mind thought of this other really bad situation and I figured they fit together well. Silliness ensued.
White knuckles clench around a table top. Ticking comes from the wall. Two police officers and a suspect in an interview room.
"Do you want me to call you a lawyer?"
The suspect nods his head. Eyes furtively fixed to the floor.
"Okay, you're a lawyer. Now spill."
Ray moves backwards, spins on his heel and looks Fraser dead in the eye.
"Don't do that, Fraser."
"Do what, Ray?"
"That thing that you do when you start to sound disapproving and you look at me with those big blue eyes of yours. I have to do my thing, Fraser. You do the nice Mountie routine, I do this, it's one of many differences between us."
"That isn't it, Ray."
"Then what do you want, Frase? 'cause here's the deal, I'm itchin' for a conviction and if I don't get one I'm gonna start kicking heads." Ray bounces quickly from foot to foot.
"I understand that Ray, only…"
"Only what? It isn't right?" Impatience.
"No, Ray. Your fly... it's undone."
"Your fly, it's not zipped up."
"Oh Jesus Christ almighty…"
Embarrassed glances towards the floor. Fingers tug quickly at metal. White knuckles clench around a table top.