May 19th, 2012

Loz Cola

Unpopular opinions...

1. I haven't watched the whole of Mad Dogs because I really, really didn't enjoy it. It has my favourite actors and it's beautifully shot, but I spend every minute of every episode shouting at the screen. I don't like or connect with any of the characters, I wholeheartedly believe Matthew Graham and Ashley Pharoah would have made an amazing show with the same premise and every time I see people discussing how great Mad Dogs is, I scream "but not as great as Eternal Law, you philistines!" It's entirely likely I have a sickness. Especially since that's not a comparison that should be made. Apples/Peanut butter much?

2. The first David Bowie song I really loved was "I'm Afraid of Americans". The second was "Life on Mars". I've been listening to "Slow Burn" recently and singing along loudly.

3. I've never loved Supernatural, but I'm really rather fond of Grimm. I mean, it is by no means a great show, but it sustains my interest enough that I look forward to seeing it.

4. When it comes to commenting on fic, art or vids, I am firmly in the "why don't more people comment?" camp. One of the things I've always enjoyed about fandom is the fact that the creators and, for want of a better word, consumers, can very easily enter into a dialogue, even if it's "OMG ILU THIS IS AM-AY-AY-AY-ZING"/"Thank you so much ♥" (which is basically all I am reduced to in my own comments, because articulation, what's that?) I try very hard not to expect comments, and it's not the why and wherefore of writing for me, but I do like knowing, first hand, that someone was moved by something what I wrote. I try to comment whenever I can because of this and I frequently wish I had more time to read-view-and-comment. I always think it's kind of unfair that it's deemed extremely uncool to feel down when the crickets are chirping. There's this real sense that those who don't feel they need external validation (or, conveniently, get it all the time because they write in mega-fandoms, or are just that good at hitting the fannish zeitgeist) are sitting there thinking you should suck it up. Yes, well, I probably should, but listen to those damn crickets, they're so frustrating.

On the other hand, I totally understand anxiety and not wanting fandom to feel like a chore. There have definitely been times when I've been at a complete loss for words on how to respond to something because it moved me so profoundly, or I liked something well enough but it missed a spark and I don't know how to comment on the great parts because I'm just thinking about that, or I'm in awe of someone's talent and have no way to express it without coming across as a grade-a creeper. I definitely don't think people should be forced into commenting or responding to something for my own vanity's sakes.

In short --- it's hard and complicated and I wish it wasn't. It's been this way for years and there still aren't many solutions. I think the kudos feature on AO3 is absolutely brilliant and as close to a compromise as I can successfully imagine. I think the main problem for me is that, rationally, I can be very level-headed and serene about this, but apparently my subconscious is a traitorous, hypocritical dick.

5. I still don't understand tumblr. I've seen some very lovely pictures of James Roday and various things, but beyond that I am confused.