February 23rd, 2007

Loz Cola

Writing from the emotional void...

It makes perfect sense that the fandom that happens to be the one that most interests me creatively involves two characters who wouldn't talk about their emotions unless shotguns were raised to their heads. And even then, the chances of getting anything very deep on the positive side are severely limited.

I think that I am a relatively unemotional writer. I find it difficult to express certain feelings in words. I'll add the line in and delete it within a second. I do so much better with unspoken feelings; actions and glances. I even recently retroactively edited a story - something I usually never do - to delete a line I hated because I thought it was too emotional for the moment (admittedly, it was also just a really crap line.)

I'm trying to improve on letting characters say and feel stuff, considering that this is one of the generally accepted reasons for fan fiction - we write what the official canon can't. But it's difficult, when these are characters who just don't have that kind of pull - when the phrase "thank you" holds the most emotional impact from the canon to date. You have to work to make it plausible. And that's it for me, I think. I want everything I write to conceivably fit into the show in some way (yes! even when it involves raving psycho killing!) I'm afraid to take that step to the left. When I have, I've usually been unhappy with the result.

And I feel like I need to learn how to do this emotional communication thing with original fiction. Or I'm not going to be very successful in creating the sorts of narratives I want to. I might end up with a bunch of stories which are potentially technically good, but devoid of resonance.

I think about this type of thing way too much.