June 1st, 2004

Loz Cola

Where do they go?

I found something out about my past today that I hadn't known before.

Or, at least, I thought I hadn't known. It turns out that I had at the time but the information has somehow got lost along the way. Jez, who's ten years older than I am, recounted to me what our last days in England were like. We were going to be evicted from our house two weeks after departure date! If we hadn't left when we did, we would have been literally homeless! I knew we'd left our house with the mortgage. I knew that the feeling was that we were going to the land of milk and honey. But I hadn't known things were so dire. I hadn't thought I'd known.

But a ten year old me had made a poster saying "Thanks a lot" with a tear. A keepsake for the repossession people.

HOW can I not remember this? Just what happened to this lost memory?

I have discovered I am excellent at blocking or subverting my memory. Is this good or bad? I suppose the good thing is that I have mainly good memories of England. But the bad thing is that I've lost a whole lot of background information. Now I wonder what else I've managed to lose in this labyrinth of my mind. And do I really want to know?
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    confused confused
Loz Cola


Fuck me, forget about memories - what about the date?

HOW the hell is it June 1st???? The only good thing about it being June is Nick's birthday next Monday (his prezzie arrived today, wooo - can't wait to see his expression) and PoA on Thursday (i am going to explode by then anyway).

I am so royally mooed work wise. I'm off to read more of La Morte Darthur. I have 2 presentations next week, one poetry and the other King Arthur. And I still have progressed little on my Thesis, all 12,000-15,000 words of which is technically due the end of September. Ackingfuckshitwankybuggerdoodledoo.