Loz (lozenger8) wrote,


My mum came home when I was asleep last night (and I stayed up until 1.20) so I can only assume she's going to have a pounding headache today.

My mum is so different from me. She heard the chance of a party and went "oooh! me!", spent the entire of Saturday getting supplies, and was happily excited when waiting for her ride. This is a woman who has technically been old enough to be a Grandmother for 10 years (though she insists on being called Lin Lin when the time comes. I'm not sure that's going to happen, but I cannot imagine her as a Granny, Grandma or Grandmother.)

When I hear the chance of a party I wonder where the nearest rock is and if I have to go, spend the entire Saturday freaking out whilst getting supplies and am nervous and twitchy and quiet and short tempered when waiting for my ride. I am a woman who is turning 21 in a week and a bit.

The age, in this case does not matter, except to say that my mother has even become more reserved as she has grown older. So one can only imagine what she was like when she was my age (and I've heard stories).

I think you can see the behavioural differences there, so I won't go into any further detail. I just hope she had a good time. Considering most of the Cinzano and Lemonade has gone, and it's deep into the morning, and she's still sprawled on the bed - I'm going to assume it was a ball.

Actually, on the subject of my age... do you know that yesterday mum forgot I was turning 21? She did. I was joking about how it's amusing I never drink during the year when I'm always game for it at christmas (saying something like, "I don't want to be a hypocrite but I love the idea of prudishly being able to say I never drink"). I said how when she was my age she was a drinker (I know because she told me) and she was arguing that no she wasn't, until I said I was turning 21, that I knew for a fact she had been a drinker since going on the ship from Oz to England when she was 19. She very sheepishly smiled and said "of course, I keep forgetting."

As for why I don't drink during the year, the amusingly conservative part of it isn't all just an act (I am genuinely conservative with a small c). I don't like the idea of losing my inhibitions, and behaving in a manner I wouldn't normally. I always want total control over myself, even if I'm deliberately acting like a fool. Whilst it does give me tremendous pleasure to prudishly say "I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. Hell, I'm even a Virgin" (perhaps the first three sort of qualify the last one), I actually choose not to drink because I don't think I'd enjoy the outcome.

I know that if I drank a little, then I'd be compelled to drink a little more. And it's a bit sad doing it all by yourself. Apart from when I drank that Heineken with thirdman (the wonders of the internet), my one time of drinking with a friend resulted in her falling asleep and me staring at her angrily. In company I'd definitely not like to put myself in a compromising situation. But I like the thought of indulging myself at christmas, with a little of this, and a little of that... which is why I always happily think of the drinks we could get.

This post was never meant to be this long, but what can you do? Hah.

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