Loz (lozenger8) wrote,

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Looking back on Tomorrow...

I hate to say it, but I really do think I've grown this year. Whether I've grown for the better is anyone's guess. I think a part of me has died. But I still enjoy cartoons and improv-comedy, so at least my inner child is still around. I can still cheerfully rave on about my favourite actors. Though now I feel ever so slightly silly doing so, I enjoy my right to be a fangirl.

It's just that the past few years I was quite happy that whilst my "number" went up, my personality, sensibility and ability stayed irrevocably stagnant - in effect, I was still a teen. This year, though... I think I've caught up. When I say I'm 21, I feel 21. I don't mentally think I'm 17 like I have done for three years. I feel older.

Now I'm hoping I can take this newfound maturity to the next level. I don't want to stagnate anymore. I want to be something and someone more. I want to progress. Now that I've felt firsthand what that's like, and that it isn't all bad, perhaps I can continue to do so.

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