Loz (lozenger8) wrote,

  • Mood:

More bleugh.

I feel so bad. Really. I just want everything to go away. I am too depressed at the moment and it's just so bad.

My thesis is due on the 1st November. I have done a 3000 word draft first chapter.

I need an Introduction, 2nd, 3rd Chapters and a conclusion. I'll need a draft copy of all of that on the 1st October. I haven't researched nearly as much as I need to have. In fact, throughout the whole of like March, June and July I really had time to do this, and I didn't. I keep looking back wondering where the weeks went.

I have other assignments too - like a book report thing due next Wednesday and then an Autobiographical piece of 3000 words and then a 2800 word essay on Epics and that Editing Project. This week I was going to start knuckling down, like I do, I go into intense work moments, but then I got the mother of all periods (which admittedly I was kind of glad to see considering I skipped last time and I was concerned I was either seriously ill or carrying the next Messiah). But even worse I got this fucking cold which relegates me to a position in which I can barely speak, move or think. It's actually taking all my energy to type this and I'm beginning to wonder why bother.

I have absolutely no social life and no promise of one at all. I saw Brett again today which just made me ten times worse, because yeah I didn't ask for his email, no I didn't do anything to express any interest in seeing him more. In fact, as the last post indicates I was a complete jerk. What little I did say was so fucking stupid. AND I rather hate Brett for making me feel this way (because I am sure he has no idea and would be more embarrassed than happy to find out). Not to mention I look like the death.

At the moment I'm dwelling in the negatives and the worst part is that I know I am. I technically have so much to be thankful for. So why the fuck aren't I? UGH!!!!!


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