Sadly, I have never had any James Bond fiction ideas with which to capitalise on the excellence of this post's number.

This entry contains discussion of RPF. Fun fact: it is entirely like me that one of my favourite self-written stories is, in fact, RPF --- something which I am still not entirely comfortable with, even if it's no longer a hardcore squick. Go me and my traitorous brain.



So. It's my firm belief that everyone who comes into contact with David Mitchell is madly in love with him. The only person I've ever seen not seem to crush wildly on him is Paul Merton, and ficwise I put that down to pure jealous spite (actual reality and this fic? so nowhere in vicinity.) Therefore, I imagined a fic in which David was CURSED by Merton to have everyone be creepily affectionate in how they show they adore him. Many hands touching in places. Many, many leers and suggestive comments, always. David would then be unsure if anyone actually liked him for him, or whether it was all the CURSE. He'd be desperately, achingly alone.

Until, one day, a foul-mouthed little man called Charlton A. Brooker (A for extra arsehole), was not at all affectionate towards him. Charlie didn't even do such considerate things as offer him tea! In fact, Charlie was openly mean, all the time. David fell in love with Charlie's diatribes and insults, bantering against him with barely unchecked glee. Then, woe, it was obvious Charlie was falling under the curse too. Charlie kept giving him small, private smiles, for Christ's sake. David had to say goodbye, never explaining the problem, prompting Charlie to search him out. Of course, Charlie wasn't under the curse, and one true love's mockery saved the day. The curse was lifted! Also, there was kissing.



Reason(s) for not having written: Lack of time and motivation. Also I sort of had my one great idea (the fic I like) and then decided that was enough.