You guys, ( Spoilers for HIGNFY )

Title: What Have I Become, My Sweetest Friend
Fandom: Life on Mars
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2 700 words.
Notes: Sam/Gene PWP. This is, without a doubt, the filthiest thing I've ever written. It's also close to being one of the sketchiest. And I wrote it as a dare to myself. So. Make of that what you will. Title from the song 'Hurt'.
Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, knotting, dub-con (heat), size kink, size differential, rimming, dirty talk.
Summary: This isn't how it's supposed to work. See, he's been successfully passing for years.

( What Have I Become, My Sweetest Friend )

So, The Avengers.

( My reaction... )

1. I haven't watched the whole of Mad Dogs because I really, really didn't enjoy it. It has my favourite actors and it's beautifully shot, but I spend every minute of every episode shouting at the screen. I don't like or connect with any of the characters, I wholeheartedly believe Matthew Graham and Ashley Pharoah would have made an amazing show with the same premise and every time I see people discussing how great Mad Dogs is, I scream "but not as great as Eternal Law, you philistines!" It's entirely likely I have a sickness. Especially since that's not a comparison that should be made. Apples/Peanut butter much?

2. The first David Bowie song I really loved was "I'm Afraid of Americans". The second was "Life on Mars". I've been listening to "Slow Burn" recently and singing along loudly.

3. I've never loved Supernatural, but I'm really rather fond of Grimm. I mean, it is by no means a great show, but it sustains my interest enough that I look forward to seeing it.

4. When it comes to commenting on fic, art or vids, I am firmly in the "why don't more people comment?" camp. One of the things I've always enjoyed about fandom is the fact that the creators and, for want of a better word, consumers, can very easily enter into a dialogue, even if it's "OMG ILU THIS IS AM-AY-AY-AY-ZING"/"Thank you so much ♥" (which is basically all I am reduced to in my own comments, because articulation, what's that?) I try very hard not to expect comments, and it's not the why and wherefore of writing for me, but I do like knowing, first hand, that someone was moved by something what I wrote. I try to comment whenever I can because of this and I frequently wish I had more time to read-view-and-comment. I always think it's kind of unfair that it's deemed extremely uncool to feel down when the crickets are chirping. There's this real sense that those who don't feel they need external validation (or, conveniently, get it all the time because they write in mega-fandoms, or are just that good at hitting the fannish zeitgeist) are sitting there thinking you should suck it up. Yes, well, I probably should, but listen to those damn crickets, they're so frustrating.

On the other hand, I totally understand anxiety and not wanting fandom to feel like a chore. There have definitely been times when I've been at a complete loss for words on how to respond to something because it moved me so profoundly, or I liked something well enough but it missed a spark and I don't know how to comment on the great parts because I'm just thinking about that, or I'm in awe of someone's talent and have no way to express it without coming across as a grade-a creeper. I definitely don't think people should be forced into commenting or responding to something for my own vanity's sakes.

In short --- it's hard and complicated and I wish it wasn't. It's been this way for years and there still aren't many solutions. I think the kudos feature on AO3 is absolutely brilliant and as close to a compromise as I can successfully imagine. I think the main problem for me is that, rationally, I can be very level-headed and serene about this, but apparently my subconscious is a traitorous, hypocritical dick.

5. I still don't understand tumblr. I've seen some very lovely pictures of James Roday and various things, but beyond that I am confused.

I HAD TO WAIT FOR IT, BUT, OH, WOULD I LIE TO YOU, YOU DELIVERED.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAA.

Two days ago, I was trying to get my Year 3s (8-9 year olds) ready for the massive standardised test they're expected to take next week. We were revising how to write an argument genre, since looking at their work informed me that even after at least a term's work on it, they still have no clue. I had just finished reminding students that in paragraphs 2 and 3 they expand on the reasons they previewed in the introduction when I caught A and N exchanging a note. The note said:

Is this boring?


Yes [ X ]

No [ ]


I should have been annoyed, since I was only trying to help them, and it was really quite disrespectful. But actually, not only did I think it was an excellent example of how intelligent and creative my kids are, I was over the moon that everything had been correctly spelt.

In other news, NAPLAN is a waste of time and money and should go die in a fire. The results come too late to inform my teaching. Those results wouldn't highlight or tell me anything I wouldn't know even if they came in time. The test puts young children under undue pressure. And it's a fucking disgrace that funding is tied up in it.

If you're wondering where I've disappeared to, the answer is: work.

There are weeks like this week when I honestly cannot remember why I ever thought teaching was enjoyable, worthwhile, or what I want to do.

I may just drink tonight, you guys. I've been teetotal since January (because I usually just don't feel the need to drink), but, bloody hell, I need something to cheer this miserable fuck up.

I love my fannish family.

I have just now convinced my parents to watch Dexter, based on years of "hey, you know, there's this show I watch that I think you may like, even if you think you wouldn't." Guess what? I was correct. Yesterday, while we're debating what to watch, Dad's all "I think it has to be the next Dexter, don't you?" Dad is almost never the one who says what needs to be watched next.

So, we're watching the second episode, and mum goes, "you should write a crossover between this and Person of Interest. I want to know what Finch and Reese would make of Dexter."

:D

Alas, I do not think I am capable, but surely someone else has already done this, right?

Oh my gosh. Have a look at these other excellent contributions of LoM fandom's six year anniversary!

“The Best TV Series Endings Ever” Voting Link by dorsetgirl

A Night at the Movies by blueteak

Sammyversary by anonyma73

Shipwreck by debl_ns

Five times Gene knotted his handkerchief by fawsley

No spring chicken by milly_gal

Five times Sam made Gene wear a hat by nepthys_uk

Full of Women: A picspammy analysis of 2x04 by chamekke

WHO HAS DECIDED IT'S CHEER UP LOZ WEEK? WHOEVER IT WAS, I LOVE YOU. LOOOOOOVE YOU.

Check these out, guys, they are golden!

A Drabble a Day or A Fic in a Week by thesmallhobbit

Honeymoon by karaokegirl

Eternal Brawl by fern_tree

♥ ♥ ♥

Six years of Life on Mars being the best fandom of all! (Here's to more than six more!)

ETA: There's more. ♥__♥

With a Little Help by talkingtothesky

This wouldn't be fanfic, it would be original fiction.

I haven't written a story based on the Lands.

( APY )

Reason(s) for not having written: The reasons are many and varied and to be found beneath the cut.

This is one of several Psych fics I have not written.

I've had a conceit in mind for about two years of "what if Shawn and Gus didn't know each other growing up and then met as adults?" The show actually kinda sorta got there before me with a section of the last Christmas special, but I still think it would make an interesting fic. You know, you find yourself asking 'how would Shawn be different? how would Gus?' One of the problems I envision is that I firmly believe Shawn would be close to unbearable without Gus, so there'd be this intensely obnoxious character you'd have to somehow develop and redeem. (Of course, I also think Gus would be somewhat unbearable, only in different ways. Have I ever mentioned how I love, love, love Gus, but occasionally don't like him a whole lot?)

The only thing I've actually written on this story is: Shawn is thirty-three and has never had a close friend. He makes friends well enough, for at least a week or two. But he doesn't know how to keep them. One day, he meets Burton Guster.

Reason(s) for not having written: Lack of time, mostly. Also, there are so many questions, too many, I think. I've long got over starting with one idea and then writing away like a fiend until I figure out everything else.

Title: This World Seems a Better Place
Fandom: Psych
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3 000 words.
Notes: Shawn/Gus set after 'The Closet and Dr Caligari', though you don't really have to have read that for this to make sense. That fic was sexless, so this fic is all sex. It's a thank you fic for those who brought me up when I was feeling down. It's customary to give the gift of porn, right? This features some awkward first time sexscapades and ill-advised quotes. Also, references to Eric Stolz, a whole lot of honesty, and insecure!Shawn.
Summary: He didn't want Shawn playing it safe. That kind of defeated the whole reasoning behind allowing himself to accept his attraction.

This World Seems a Better Place (On AO3)

THIS IS PRECISELY WHY DAVID CAMPBELL IS MY AUSTRALIAN SHAWN.

This is shameless Channel 9 self-promotion, but, eh!

(He is sooooo much better than this live. SO MUCH BETTER. He was totally doing what I do sometimes which is purposefully make it just the other side of great by going Over The Top. Yet, because he is David Campbell, it never actually sounded bad. Amaze.)

Also, his sister Mahalia is on for real next week!

♥ ♥ ♥

http://lozenger8.tumblr.com/


What do I do now?

Fic based on the music video I just posted, wherein the protagonist (I choose to call him JJ) is struggling with his sexuality. He has yearning unrequited feelings for his first coach. The coach knows about these feelings and uses them to manipulate him. Realising he's in a semi-abusive relationship with an arsehole, JJ chooses to follow a path of light. The fact the path of light includes the cute Danny is totally coincidental. JJ trains, all the while growing to accept who he is and what he wants from life. When an opportunity with Danny arises, he takes it. Now all he has to do is convince Danny he's for real.

Reason(s) for not having written: That is basically the music video. Also, no one would read it. (Though, by the way, I am not the only one who read gay subtext into this video. In the youtube comments, someone said "very fascinating gay lovestory...". I agree, random youtuber, I agree.)

This video is AMAZING. One huge Karate Kid reference with a spin and kinda slashy? ♥ ♥ (Also, I have always liked The Temper Trap. Their first album was my jam. I think this song is something you need to listen to a few times to adore? But I am not ashamed to take one for the team.)

( I Need Your Love )

1. Does anyone know how long we've been able to filter communities to one specific poster? (i.e http://lifein1973.livejournal.com/?poster=lozenger8 ) I had no idea this existed. I AM AMAZED.

2. I had a few very special people make my day today, so thank you to you, lovelies, you know who you are. My heart bursts with glee for the amazing people who make my life brighter. ♥ I don't deserve you all.

3. I've been watching the Australian version of The Voice and this is a format I do not get in any way, shape, or form. I am not a fan.

I affectionately call this one "LoMCeption". I have been annoying people by talking about it for... possibly a year now? It is a Life on Mars [UK] and Inception fusion, and already it has undergone a few different incarnations. Without an actual word being written. About the only thing that has remained constant is that I wanted Annie in the central, though not necessarily point of view, role.

( These are the notes I have so far: )

Initially, it was actually supposed to be Dom = Annie, Mal = Sam, Alex from A2A as Ariadne. And they were going to mess with Jim Keats's mind. So, as you can tell, I really have no idea what the hell this story is. All I know is that I want a fusion.

Reason(s) for not having written: Writing neuroses and lack of time.

{Take the 100 Things challenge!}

I'll be posting about the 100 fics I haven't written (due to writing neuroses, lack of time, and/or the fact they're terrible ideas.)

Either I don't know where to find them, or there aren't nearly enough Psych vids to be found.

But this vid, that I just found? It is beautiful.

ALSO, RODAY IS UNREASONABLY HOT, OMG.

Title: The Closet and Dr Caligari
Fandom: Psych
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 37 400 words.
Notes: Shawn/Gus, with references to imagined Shawn/Lassiter, set around Series 5.
Summary: When Shawn and Gus investigate the death of a stage manager they find themselves dragged into a world of British accents and hypnotism. In order to work toward solving the case, Shawn lets himself get hypnotized on stage and proceeds to get handsy. And then bad things happen, rocks fall, everyone doesn’t-quite-die, but Gus is not happy, because his friendship with Shawn reaches tipping point.

The Closet and Dr Caligari (at AO3)

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

If you have Life on Mars [UK] vid ideas that you can't put into action due to lack of time/software/know-how, may I direct your attention to this post. A fanvid bunny repository! There is no such thing as too cracky. No song too uncool. Any LoM vids you've wanted to see? Post away! The lovely xiilnek has coded up the ideas so far.

But even more important: If you want to vid Life on Mars [UK], but haven't had inspiration before now, there are tonnes of brilliant song and theme ideas in this post. I'm sure some of those who dream of these vids even have scene suggestions.

The vids we have in LoM fandom are am-ay-ay-ay-zing, but there aren't all that many. For a show that is as stylish and beautifully shot as this? It's a gosh darn shame.

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

It occurred to me yesterday that I've been in Life on Mars fandom for six years. The longest I've been away for any stretch of time is 2 months. I've written fic (gen, het, slash, poly, anthropomorfic), made icons/banners, organised fests, modded several comms, and posted about the show with alarming passion and regularity. And I have loved almost every second of it.

\o/

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

In good news: my Eternal Law DVDs came today, yaaaay.

In bad: I just read that there won't be a second series.

Oh, ridiculous angel lawyer show, you'll always have a fan in me.

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

This post is all about my complicated, one-sided love/hate affair with Matthew Graham (and to a lesser extent, Ashley Pharoah), so if you're not in the mood for me being just a lot crazycakes, maybe don't click on the cut.

( This Too Shall Pass... )

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

Zak/Richard to ( I'll See Your Heart and I'll Raise You Mine )

It's sliiiightly more romantic than I would ordinarily envision for these two, but it's still terribly, terribly apt.

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

Once you have seen 1.06, you should go and read this super spoilery analysis of one of the best scenes in the entirety of ever. If it doesn't have you nodding along and going, 'omg, so true', you should have a degree in being wrong all the time.

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

Someone has to make a Zak/Hannah vid to this song, oh my gosh...

( So bittersweet... )

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

Before I begin this liveblog I just want to say that this show, this show has been a constant source of joy for me, and even if we don't get a second series (which --- I can't see happening given the viewing figures, so many people really did not Get this show, and weren't bothered to make an effort to attempt to --- we're in a TV climate where if you're not a hit at the pilot stage, you're not a hit) I think I'll always count this among one of my favourites. None of my enthusiasm has been faked.

Yes, there were things that didn't always entirely work. There was an awful lot of phlebotinum, hand-waving, and general 'this is fluff, it doesn't need to make sense', but the thing is, it often didn't need to make sense, at least not on a rational level, only on an emotional. And, for me, it almost always did do that second thing, so it was constantly aces. (Plus, I gained a hell of a lot of enjoyment from mocking the hand-waving.) The predictable things in the show were delightfully comforting, the surprising delightfully illuminating, and it was clever in lots of great little ways that made me happy.

So. I may have been one of, maybe, twenty people who actually Got this show, but I am so, so glad I did. I am heartened that it was made. Pleased that I could have this precious little flawed jewel that brought me back to days of riotous flailing, capslock and edge-of-my-seat anticipation.

( Eternal Law 1.06... )

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

ETERNAL LAW DVDS, YOU GUYS. You know you want them. Never before have I been happier about a pre-order.

(Please tell me Matthew wrote the blurb and therefore this line about Zak/Hannah: "It is a cruel, bruised, aching romance." It's just so freaking Matt.)

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

Eternal Law 1.05 liveblog, because finally someone up there likes me.

( Eternal Law... )

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

Title: Suppressing Defeat, Reinventing Belief
Fandom: Eternal Law
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3,500 words.
Notes: Zak/Hannah with some stalkery behaviour that is completely canonical. I have been unable to see episode 1.05 of Eternal Law, because of reasons, so this has probably been Mashed. But. I really wanted to write this. So I did. I misuse and modify the dragonfly analogy here, for my own purposes, because it made me cry when it was used in Rev. I also directly stole a line from Futurama. The title is from ‘If God Did Give Me a Choice’ by The Leisure Society.
Warning: Character death, of a sort.
Summary: He always says he knew Hannah ‘in a previous life’, but that isn’t entirely true. It isn’t entirely a lie, either.

(  Suppressing Defeat, Reinventing Belief )

This entry was posted on both LJ and DW. This post has DW comments, \o/

Other vids I would pleased to see in Eternal Law fandom:

Zak/Hannah to Sia's "Breathe Me".

A multi-pairing vid to The Sad Little Stars' "Don't Fuck With Love".

Zak/Richard to Scissor Sisters' "Sex and Violence".

Zak & Tom to "Man or Muppet" (What? It's a great song.) Yes. My brain really works like this. Zak is Gary, Tom is Walter.

Go, imaginary personal vidders.